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Doing It Twice

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(With an enormous nod in the direction of the excellent Steve Womack)

 

We made our way to bed one night

I pulled down all the blinds

We kissed by filtered moonlight

Passion in our minds.

 

My wife broke from our close embrace

“I won’t be long.  Don’t go”

And headed for the bathroom door

Then cruelly stubbed her toe.

 

She cried in pain and anguish

Which turned to plaintive sob

Her toe turned black in anger

Continuing to throb.

 

Vicariously her pain was mine

To see how this upset her

I gently took her foot to me,

“Let Daddy kiss it better.”

 

One thing led to another so

I need not state the rest

Suffice to say our lovemaking

Was of the very best.

 

And after we’d recovered

She rose to leave once more

But stubbed her toe a second time

Upon the bathroom door.

 

My darling wife began to sob

“That’s twice I’ve done it now”

I farted and rolled over, mumbling,

“Well you clumsy cow”

◄ Charente-Maritime

Night Mail ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Sat 15th Jan 2011 21:04

Thanks for all the comments, guys.
Banksy's right - it is an old joke. I heard it as part of an after dinner speech by Steve Womack (worth checking out).

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Dave Bradley

Sat 15th Jan 2011 19:25

Vintage Coopey. Very enjoyable

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 15th Jan 2011 06:52

Oh! I thought you meant BOBBY Womack!

<Deleted User> (7212)

Fri 14th Jan 2011 22:30

I've heard this joke before, to be honest, but the way YOU told it, I was pissing myself. Bravo !

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Ann Foxglove

Fri 14th Jan 2011 18:44

I'll never get this foot thing! Takes all sorts! x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 14th Jan 2011 18:43

Very funny, John; love the foot-in-mouth humour. Well-constructed too.

Philipos

Fri 14th Jan 2011 15:56

Great poem John especially listened to on the voice over

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Lynn Dye

Fri 14th Jan 2011 11:20

Brilliant, John, such a good laugh! x

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Laura Taylor

Fri 14th Jan 2011 10:05

Haha!! Oh well, I guess recovery time is a little longer 'at your age' John ;p

'let daddy kiss it better' - oh you are awful, but I like you :D


oh ray, hehehe

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Elaine Booth

Fri 14th Jan 2011 00:04

Very witty, title and verse! Much enjoyed the humour.

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Ray Miller

Thu 13th Jan 2011 23:37

It is very good, John, but a toe should never look black in anger.

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