Oh, For A Modern Man!

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My hubby was always useless

When it came to kitchen work,

Couldn’t even boil an egg,

He’d always act a berk.

I taught my son how to cook,

He was a willing learner.

But did my man even know

How to switch on a burner?

Even when it came to washing up,

It was guaranteed there’d be

Important things for him to do.

As if there wasn’t for me!

Now after my foot operation

He’s had to help me out

Even pre-bought ready meals

Filled my man with doubt.

A spinach cannelloni in each hand,

“What do I do with these?”

“Put them on a baking tray,” said I.

You would think this a breeze.

Back he came with the article,

Held at arm’s length.

“Is this a baking tray?” asked he.

Oh Lord, give me strength!

Well, he’s doing slightly better,

Improvement very slow.

But how I’ve not been poisoned

I shall never know! 

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Lynn Dye

Thu 16th Dec 2010 11:23

Thank you everyone :)

Isobel, are you speaking from experience? You are right anyway, I'd hate a bloke like that, and don't need to learn to adore the one I have.

Thanks Dave for picking up on my point - you'd think he'd recognise a baking tray!

Thank you Ray, glad you enjoyed. Yes, I did manage to get dinner myself the other night, so the incentive is there!

Ha ha Banksy, that is what my other half would say! You are both right, I'd be rubbish at anything like that. But maybe I could live without knowing, who can live without food? (That's my excuse anyway...) :)

<Deleted User> (7212)

Wed 15th Dec 2010 22:26

when Delia has to give instructions on how to boil an egg...
BTW - I hope you're a whizz with the ole torque wrench & feeler gauges ?? ;)

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Ray Miller

Wed 15th Dec 2010 18:44

Could be a slow poison, Lynn. Of course, he's given you every incentive to get better. Enjoyed.

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Dave Bradley

Wed 15th Dec 2010 17:31

A very enjoyable one, Lynn. I'm the proud owner of the invaluable 'Cooking for Blokes' which does give all the detail which all those fancy cookbooks don't. However, even Cooking for Blokes must assume you knew what a baking tray was, because it isn't defined in the very basic 'Tools' section (pages 6 -14). (-:

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Wed 15th Dec 2010 17:12

If you'd been married to someone who criticised anything you ever cooked - for its fat content, its digestive content, its lack of imagination, or its timing, you might just learn to adore the man you've got :) Sometimes it's good not to live with 'perfection'.
An amusing poem Lynn. x

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Lynn Dye

Wed 15th Dec 2010 15:39

I don't doubt it, Francis. Thank you for comment.

Glad it made you laugh, Rachael, thanks. Actually, hubby laughed too!

Thanks Stef, luckily, I can do pity!! ;)

<Deleted User> (8672)

Wed 15th Dec 2010 14:32

Very good I think, Lynn. I enjoyed it. Not all men are like this, of course. In fact, I'm the best cook in our house...

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Rachael Dunn

Wed 15th Dec 2010 14:01

haha Lynn, thanks for making me laugh...x

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Wed 15th Dec 2010 13:57

yeah but-yeah but-yeah but...I can boil eggs and pour water on pot noodles-I do however struggle opening bags of crisps-have pity! SW-xx

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Lynn Dye

Wed 15th Dec 2010 13:52

Ah Tom, I was married so long ago there were no modern men then!! And he is certainly not useless in other areas. Just a bit of fun. Ta for comment.

Ann, yes, you are right, he has been a good lad, love him really. xx

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Ann Foxglove

Wed 15th Dec 2010 12:49

Oh, he means well! Poor lamb! ;-)

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 15th Dec 2010 12:35

Erm, Lynn, did you not meet your spouse before the engagement? How could you not ascertain the fact that he is a dufus?

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