Cynthia Buell Thomas

Midnight Gardens

by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wednesday 25th August 2010 8:48 am (first posted Tuesday 24th August 2010 5:01 pm)

MidnightGardens

"Well? How did you get out of it?

I knew you would; but how did you do it?

The car’s headlamps

Spotlighted you centre stage

All thighs and torso with fine rich legs.

I thought you looked magnificent."

She was halfway down the road

Almost past the point of suspicion

When the car swung boldly around the bend.

The piercing glare strobed her,

Locked in on his magnificence

And intensified.

She loved to watch his mind compute

On his face’s screen.

The last flicker before vacancy

Seemed less surprised than annoyed.

She knew he would get out of it.

"What did you tell her?"

"If I were having an assignation with a woman

Do you think I would be stupid enough

To stand in the common lane wearing

Only a beach coat!"

"Hear! Hear!" she cried, impressed.

"A guilt return with a backhand curve.

She didn’t even reach for it, did she?"

Damn lucky!

Men who naked leap about

In midnight gardens

Risk exposure.

Cynthia Buell Thomas

◄ To Hell in a Hand Basket

Ocean Thoughts I ►

Comments

winston plowes

Sat 11th Sep 2010 14:27

intreguing this one, once I started reading couldent stop. Don't think I got all the twists so maybe needs more reading. Win

Lynn Dye

Thu 26th Aug 2010 21:50

I had to read this a couple of times, Cynthia, to get the drift, but I really like it. A little enigma can be a good thing, I am beginning to think!

Heather

Thu 26th Aug 2010 12:09

I understood it as far as I'm aware but then I read the speech-marked version XD A conversation between a woman and a man about the male's escapade naked in another's garden at midnight, am I right? And almost caught by a woman in a car passing by.

I like the little summary at the end but then I grew up with the Aesop style tales. We'd have one read out to us every assembly when I was in junior school and they'd expect us to guess at the morale before they read those last few lines.

I think you've got a real strength in dialogue here, love the humour and I love the back and forth of the conversation.

I found 'assignation' a little awkward, it didn't quite fit the line or the flow to my way of thinking.

Thanks for the read, thoroughly enjoyed and if I'm off the mark at least it might give you a few giggles xxx

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 25th Aug 2010 08:54

OK, taking out the speech marks of the 'story' was a bad idea. and I did it at the last minute too. I honestly thought the dialogue between two people versus the narration would be sufficiently clear, but I thunk wrong. Maybe it was the 'she's' and 'her's', but there is nothing complex about the progression. The last stanza is an Aesop-type summary of a story, the moral so to speak. (I should be so brave!)

Banksy, I don't know what you mean, except, yes, there is the tennis reference which I felt was likely well known. Am I complex!

Andy N

Wed 25th Aug 2010 08:14

hi cynthia - this is a interesting piece and it's one to think bout..

this is defo a mystery piece for me (like with my own detective novel piece where you don't give all of the audience the total picture and let them work it out for themselves).

although i really enjoyed it (and i would love to see you write more pieces like this)- the ending has got me a little bit.. perhaps i am being dense (for once - lol) but that bit lost me... i got the feeling it was about two women however...

Isobel

Wed 25th Aug 2010 07:58

I should have added that, like Ray, there are aspects to the poem that I really like - particularly the double entendre at the end. x

Bernadette Herbertson

Wed 25th Aug 2010 02:59

Hi Cynthia i didnt get this one on my first read then i read peoples comments and re read it a couple more times then the penny dropped and suddenly i understood it much better well i think i have as i think it is about 2 women and a man who is having an affair with one of the women ? best wishes bernadette x

Dave Bradley

Tue 24th Aug 2010 23:24

Mmmm. Intriguing - there do seem to be two women here - the wife (arriving home) and the other woman (leaving), but who knows.

Isobel

Tue 24th Aug 2010 23:17

I like to think that I get most of your poetry Cynthia but I would have to agree that this one is a perplexing one. I think it is possibly because 'she' may refer to more than one person and it isn't easy to understand which is which or just who the narrator is.
I'm presuming this about someone caught en flagrant delit but it needs a little bit more clarification.

<Deleted User> (7212)

Tue 24th Aug 2010 22:53

Hi Cyn - you're always leaving nice comments for me & consequently I always read yours, hoping to find one I can understand - & yet again, it eludes me - as if we are talking a different language. Am I just being thick or are there references here that I might need to be au fait with (eg tennis ??) in order to make sense ?
Or are your poems maybe just too "clever" or knowing for me ?
I'd like to get it - but I honestly cant understand. What do you reckon pls ? XX

Ray Miller

Tue 24th Aug 2010 21:59

Hello Cynthia. Bit Agatha Christie, I thought, though I got confused by the narrative in 2nd and 3rd verses but get the general drift."fine rich legs" is a bit underwhelming. I think "watch his mind compute on the screen of his face" might go better for rhythm?
"A guilt return with a backhand curve" is clever, as is the following line, and gives solidity to the characters.The ending is nice too, though "Men who naked leap about" is an odd construction.

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