I shall commence my blog with a taster from my play Below The Belt (out of the kindness of my heart rather than a cheap plug in desperation for a sell out you understand). Here is a monologue I have called ‘Bob’s your uncle…..and your lover’ – I hope you enjoy it….

 

NOEL

I haven’t told my Mum

That I’ve got a new lover

Not sure she’d be that impressed

Considering he’s her brother

She wasn’t too happy

When she discovered I was gay

So to find out I’m into incest

Won’t exactly make her day

I know it’s wrong

But I just can’t help it

I think my uncle Neil

Is really fit

And he likes me too

He told last week

He took me by the hand

And kissed me on the cheek

Then we couldn’t stop

He dragged me to the bathroom

And did something cheeky

With the length of his broom

Sunday morning

He came round for his toast

We shagged on the sofa

Whilst mum did the roast

I told my mate

He’s not spoken to me since

I don’t think it matters who he is –

He treats me like a prince

I don’t feel any guilt

My aunty’s a miserable cow

And I let him do all the things

That she would never allow

One day I’ll have to confess

We’re both extremely committed

Give it a few years and it’ll be easier

Incest marriages will be permitted

But for now I’ll have to hide the truth

That I’m in love with my mum’s brother

It would probably cause a family rift….

And the early demise of my mother