PADS
There's pads that you find on a puppy dog's feet
There's pads that are cushions on your three-piece suite
There's pads that you write on sheet after sheet
To these though I now have to add
My fucking incontinence pad.
When younger my dotage I thought through and planned
I knew that my hour glass would one day lose sand
And that, for example, my waist would expand
But what never occurred to that lad
Was having to wear a piss pad.
I held the “school record” for twenty-odd years
And needed a piss only once after beers
I savour those memories now destiny nears
But recollect words of my dad
“One day, son, you'll wear a pad”
I fully expected to fall prey to chills
And likewise anticipate living on pills
I'm resigned to the fact that my prick yields no thrills
But the facet that makes me most sad's
This fucking incontinence pad.
Cos precision's long gone and the pressure is weak
Protection's now needed for untimely leaks
And to compound this I find skid mark streaks
So where did he go that young lad
Who now wears incontinence pads?
These days after having a romantic date
There's nothing that makes a girl's ardour deflate
Quicker than proof of your unruly prostate
Which sight turns your slim prospects bad
- A wet and a piss-coloured pad.
So you young uns make merry and guzzle your beer
And piss like a donkey with never a fear
But know what awaits you in your future years
You'll look back on the these days when you had
No need of incontinence pads.
John Coopey
Fri 18th Apr 2025 09:10
There’s allus a dribble that’s left
Though I’m ever so careful and deft
At shaking my todger
For this coffin dodger
There’s allus a dribble that’s left.
Thankyou Uilleam and Stephen for the Like.