(A re-post from when I wrote this about old people.  These days it could be me)

 

There’s a lady out there

And she can’t climb the stairs

At her bedtime which is

Half past seven;

She was lured was Aunt Hannah

By the junkmail from Stanner

Into buying their Stairlift

To Heaven.

 

But she found it so slow

When she needed to go -

Half an hour on the Stairlift

To Heaven;

So from ground to first floor

She just found it a bore

Like a rainy weekend on

Lochleven.

(But she's lumbered with

The Stairlift to Heaven).

 

So for her own special treat

She’s adapted the seat;

Now she rides up and down

Till eleven;

She sits on her mobile phone

Which is set to vibro-tone

So she no longer needs

Uncle Kevin.

(No she no longer needs

Uncle Kevin).

 

Oooohhh! And it makes me wonder!

“Oooohhh!” She moans like thunder!

 

Now this ending will shock you

‘Cos in partnership with Nokia

She’s provided them both with

A rare gift;

A joint marketing banner

Used by Nokia and Stanner,

“Get the ride of your life

On our Stairlift”.