Some 20-odd years ago I was having my eyes tested when the optician asked me,

“Do you have any trouble reading newsprint with your glasses on?”

“None at all” I told her.

She gave me a card with tiny writing on and I rattled through it quicksticks.

“Why do you ask?” I said.

“Because you will do soon.  I can see some deterioration in the muscles controlling…..” blah–di-blah-di-blah… (I got lost in the rest as I was looking down her front).

But bugger me!!!  Within 6 weeks I was struggling reading stuff and holding it at arm’s length like you see old gits do. 

It was as if saying it caused it!

I reminded myself of this a couple of weeks ago when a long-time mate of mine and his wife came to stay at our house.  I noticed that he was wearing hearing aids.  I asked him about them and he said his hearing deteriorated very recently and very quickly.

And bugger me!!!  An audiology test at Specsavers revealed that I needed them too.

It was as if saying it caused it!

Don’t anybody talk to me about funeral plans.