My theory is as good as yours,

I am entitled to my facts.

We both have our opinions

But it's me that the truth attracts.

 

I saw it on the internet;

It’s as valid as your learning.

It says the world is flat and square,

Not round and daily turning.

 

And don’t expect me to believe

All this talk of global heating;

The weather’s always on the change:

Someone said so at the meeting.

 

The ozone hole is all a fake;

It was just a government plot.

They say that vaccines are designed

To disable us with one shot.

 

I know that we won the election.

Yes, the other guy got more votes;

But most of those were robots

Or foreigners brought in boats.

 

You claim we’ve landed on the moon,

But I tell you it isn’t so,

Because your brain’s a microchip,

So how the hell do you know?