(I have to credit Uncle Graham Sherwood for this brilliant title he suggested for me.  You have to blame me for the singing)

 

We’re all going on a Saga Holiday

On a Barton’s single decker bus

One week Llandudno then on to Colwyn Bay

We ladies here are all 80+

And nearly old as the bus.

 

We always have a Horlicks nightly

Which means we always need the loo

And those of us still sprightly

Race to form a queue.

 

Dave our driver can have his pick of us

As we get on he gives us all the eye

Dave’s a youngster unlike back-up driver Russ

And started off with old Dirty Di

In Abergele’s lay-by.

 

It’s always soup for dinner quite rightly

With most of us unable to chew

We try to slurp it quietly

Through dentures fixed with glue.

 

Hours of lotto on our Saga holiday

Then on Tuesdays it’s the beetle drive

Grab-a Granny on the middle Saturday

That’s when Russell seems to come alive

Despite his hips in the jive.

 

The fight for Dave is most unsightly

Stampeded by Back Entry Sue

She’s Featherstone’s most sprightly

So headed up that queue.

 

Twenty packed for their Saga holiday

Twenty cases on the luggage rack

Twenty trips for return would we ladies pay

One lost in Rhyl and one heart attack

Only eighteen came back.