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I Tried To Give You Up

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I tried to bury the fountain
along with a rainbow
but I found you in my bed again
scribbling with crayons
I tried to cover up my tattoo
all these years of printing hearts
upon my sleeve
always yearning to improve

I tried to marry another way
pass the time with some other face
put my tools back in the drawer
and step away from what’s been said
I tried to give you up
as if there were two ways of being
to create or to consume
conserve my energy for one alone

I tried to believe there was no distance
left for me to travel 
misguided and lacking wisdom
I thought this body was all explored
I tried to give you up
but you grabbed me by the wrists
and proudly slid a pen between 
my fingers and my thumb

Now, I see and I admit
O, there will be spidery black words
and tapestries of dreams
and wild imaginings
and haunted diary entries
and uncouth blue fantasies
and endless sad soliloquies 
and the most rewarding therapy
and all these broken things
that I let ring
as I go on living

O, I tried to give up writing
what was I thinking…


*about a strange decision I made aged 23.


◄ Snow Day

The Boot ►


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Sun 13th Aug 2023 13:01

Thanks Kevin. And agreed, WriteOutLoud is very handy when commuting and you want to read something interesting and digestible.

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Tue 8th Aug 2023 14:50

Thanks John! Just spotted your comment. Yes, very much so 😃

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John Botterill

Wed 26th Jul 2023 19:02

It's like a lover one keeps going back to, in spite of the pain you know she's going to cause.
Love this one Tom.

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Sat 22nd Jul 2023 23:58

Thanks for your support Stephen and Holden, Hélène and Manish!

I remember feeling like I had nothing left to say at that point in my life (and you could argue I was right) but when I then started writing lots of poems about how I was giving up I should have realised I wasn't really going to stop.

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Stephen Gospage

Fri 21st Jul 2023 17:07

Tremendous, Tom. We are all so glad you didn't!

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