This is in response to JD Russell’s 'Naught Nonet' poem: Naughty Nonet | Write Out Loud

 

Pretty isn’t so principal,

more they gotta be practical,

made for a proper fit,

durable and comfortable.

 

Call them what you please,

underdaks, or even grundies.

Maybe pants or kecks,

or possibly plain old undies.

 

Trunks don’t excite,

lumpen, dull and slight.

At least nothing gets forgotten,

everything’s held nice & tight.

 

Briefs hold little back,

but they're no aphrodisiac.

So, say no to budgie smugglers,

a complete comedy drawback.

 

Boxers part the cleavage,

if you bring down your carriage,

and catch you on the fence

when you try to park your package.

 

Y Fronts are a throwback,

solid and no G strings attached. 

Just a sensible front pocket,

and plain coverage at the back.

 

Gotta be a design we’d all prefer,

one to become the complete de-rigueur.

Pants with a bit more swagger,

make you feel famous like Alan Shearer.

 

Kecks you could wear for hours,

especially on the outside of your trousers,

like Superman, or one of those blokes,

out of the Calvin Klein magazine adverts.