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Poet provides poem at first 'Lonely Funeral' in Scotland

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A poet who last year launched a project to provide eulogy poems for people who have no one present at their funeral has attended and provided a poem at the first such service in Scotland.

Andy Jackson said on Facebook: “I attended my first 'Lonely Funeral' this morning - the first in Scotland and possibly the first outside the Netherlands/Belgium under the Lonely Funeral banner.

“I had a weekend's notice from Dundee council (with whom we are working) to write a eulogy poem for a man who had died but for whom there would be no one present at the funeral. At an overcast and deserted cemetery on the outskirts of Dundee we laid him to rest, with only the poem to mark his life - I'm still not sure how I feel about that.

“It was a privilege to speak for him in the absence of anyone else - whatever might be said about the rushed and ragged poem that was written, I believe it was an honest and well-meaning use of words in the service of a humane enterprise.”

You can find out more about the Lonely Funeral project here

 

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Mon 8th May 2023 11:16


I think John Donne might forgive me this clumsy intrusion:

"...Each man's death diminishes me,
Especially if I was responsible for it,
Or I could have prevented it,
For I am involved in mankind..."

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 7th May 2023 19:49

Have compassion, care and a timely tear
For people while they're living here;
What use to maudlin mope upon
Their presence when they're dead and gone?
Or - as John Pudney wrote in other dangerous days...
Better by far
For Johnny the bright star
To keep your head
And see his children fed.

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Sat 6th May 2023 22:09

From For Whom the Bell Tolls
by
John Donne:
"...Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind..."
That's the answer.
Sez it all really!

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2023/may/06/local-elections-the-end-is-nigh-for-the-conservatives-cartoon#img-1

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Adam Whitworth

Sat 6th May 2023 17:05

This project interests me somehow. As the poet himself says, I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. It stirs the spirit in a way most projects don't. ('Art' projects where you throw a GIANT cylinder or cube somewhere and it's really only 'art' because it's GIANT, for example.) Of course I don't expect it to benefit the dead in any way. It has the chance of benefitting me and any sensitive observer in a way I can't explain. I can forsee individuals brought to tears with this kind of practise and possilbly driven to take generous and positive steps in future.

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 6th May 2023 16:21

OK - but in the sort of situation reported here, with whom is
"empathy" being expressed. That does confuse me in this
particular context. Cheers.

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Sat 6th May 2023 06:59

MC. I'm afraid you are completely mistaken.
You say-I quote:
""Do not confuse "empathy" with "emotionally illiterate"."

I'm not "confusing" empathy with anything.
I'm equating someone who has "empathy" with someone who is "emotionally literate".

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 5th May 2023 17:53

Do not confuse "empathy" with "emotionally illiterate". Donne reminds us about sending to know for whom the bell tolls
("It tolls for thee"). We are surrounded every day by the
dying - the process is an unavoidable fact of life - and the
passing from this world is supposed to be to a better existence
beyond our ken, so perhaps it should actually be celebrated
when it comes. I take the position that "the mourning" is for
those left behind, each "passing" allotted that attention according to circumstances. The dead have no such interest.
In any event, any life and its meaning is best known to those
familiar with it along the way. I have no particular objection
to anyone choosing to make a "ceremony" of the circumstances
described here but think it's more about making a gesture
than anything - but to whose benefit? One striking example
of this can be a war hero whose life and deeds would
othewise be unknown. There have been some noteworthy
examples that I'm aware of when publicity incurred public
interest and attendance in appreciation of what was done
by that person on behalf of us all.

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Fri 5th May 2023 11:39

I knew nothing about that old chap down the road who had died alone; whether or not he (or any one else) is dead does not prevent my feelings of empathy with/for that person.

I feel we are fast becoming an emotionally illiterate society.
Empathy for others is not a weakness, it is a strength which binds society together.

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John F Keane

Fri 5th May 2023 08:10

How did the poem describe the man's life when the poet knew nothing about him?

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 3rd May 2023 17:49

Personally, I have no particular interest in anyone attending my
funeral and remain content to "pass over" unremarked....with merely a plaque marking the event considered sufficient.
That said, the actual service provided requires attendance by
those employed for the purpose so no one actually heads for
"The Great Unknown" alone. No deceased is "lonely" in reality.
That is a term that affects the living.

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