Believe me if you want to or ignore me if you don’t

It will not fuss me either way; I tell you, chums, it won’t.

It’s a story of a spectacle I witnessed once in France

About a shagging couple whom we happened on by chance.

We’d gone out “birding” in the woods, the wife’s old man and me

And both had binoculars, enhancing what we’d see.

We’d spotted Milan Noirs et Busards circling in the sky

The best “spot” of the day, though, we should chance on by and by

For in a field some way away a couple we would find

And he was slipping her a length with gusto from behind.

They’d found a stook of baled hay of use in this regard

And didn’t want to waste his ardour once they’d got it hard

With no-one there for miles around they thought the coast was clear

But didn’t bank on binoculars –

                    So far and yet so near.