I was born and brought up in the Cotswolds

now the nouveau riche live there

they've got all the farms that now have alarms

dress down for chuch and don't care.

 

They live with riches beyond belief

then drink in the pubs with the locals

wearing spotless wellies and barbour coats

nostalgic for ninepins and yokels.

 

There's visitors from Asia

who enjoy the yellow glow

of limestone walls and buildings too

they're really in the know. 

 

They come to buy netsuke

then sell it on again

relying on their smartphones

converting pounds into yen. 

 

I like to try the local food

of tearooms there are many

they often bake their carrot cake

and charge a pretty penny. 

 

I blame the rises on tourism

ridiculous inflation

we can't rely on Englishness

with our third world population. 

 

There I go with politics

i've strayed, outstayed my welcome

i'd better leave the Cotswolds now

and have a day in Salcombe. 

 

This lady from the Cotswolds

Pam Ayres to you and me

has no airs or graces

i'm happy as can be.