have you ever felt this feeling of dread.

waking up and not knowing what the hell you're going to do that day.

I wake up, and scroll all day. my body rots in the same spot in my bed.

the cups beside my bed pile up. I open my shades.

look in the mirror. wash my face.

I feel like I have no purpose without constant deadlines and stress. 

my eyes fill with tears as I struggle to figure out what I should eat.

I can't deal with the pressure of my own decling self-esteem

I got a job. Yes for the money but a new place to report to gives me something.

even sitting here writing this-

am I supposed to be doing this at one in the morning? 

is this it?

is this what the universe intended?