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new year, new me.

I'm looking at all the warning signs. Staring them straight in the face and baring my claws.

Will I bite?

I will scream, scratch, scare everyone away from me. Stay.

My stomach hurts when I see the person I'm dating start to morph into their true self. Self pitty comes through my nightmares. I can't sleep at night when I don't know what they think about me. Why.

I will not be absent for myself. My feelings, emotions, hobbies, wants, likes, needs, happiness I want it safe, secured, unable to be touched by any partner, by any friendship or by anyone, Please.

Retiring the word gaslightng and leaning more into accountability. Thinking about what I contribute, instead of pushing the responsibility onto others. But. 

I wish I can plan for twenty twenty three. The different ways my life could turn down, makes me want to puke. Next year I'll be done with school, in my whole life. The routine, the day to day will be gone. 

I will be sucked into the sucky adult life of non stop reality checks, situations labeled as life lessons or karama. 


I really just want to finish the things on my wishlist, find someone and adopt a cat or a dog. Thats it. 



new yearhappy new yeargrowthmeselfadulting2023

◄ summer break

retail therapy ►


<Deleted User> (9882)

Tue 20th Dec 2022 13:47

Well I hope your wishlist wants get granted kamryn
all the best!

Rose 💋

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Tue 20th Dec 2022 10:11

"leaning more into accountability. Thinking about what I contribute, "
Admirable thinking.

"new year, new me."
The number of times I've told myself that-and disappointed myself!

Slow, and incremental change works for me.

<Deleted User> (34737)

Tue 20th Dec 2022 09:51


<Deleted User> (33540)

Mon 19th Dec 2022 18:42

not only do I think that this is a well written piece but also that you are certainly going in the right direction kamryn
( beautiful name)
may I give you a friendly suggestion? I would change your sixth line to- I will not be absent from myself?

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