I'm looking at all the warning signs. Staring them straight in the face and baring my claws.

Will I bite?

I scream, scratch, scare everyone away but wish for someone to stay.

I will not be absent from myself. My emotions, hobbies, wants, and needs must be safe, secured, unable to be touched by any partner, by any friendship or by anyone, Please.

Retiring the word gaslightng and leaning more into accountability. Thinking about what I contribute, instead of pushing the responsibility onto others 

I wish I could plan for twenty twenty three. The different ways my life could turn around, makes me want to puke. Next year I'll be done with school, leaving the rest of my life a mystery. The routine, the normal day-to-day will be gone. 

I will be sucked into the sucky adult life of non-stop reality checks, situations labeled as life lessons or karma.

Whatever.

I really just want to finish the things on my wishlist, find someone and adopt a cat or a dog. Thats it. 

Cheers.