A conversation with my father

He was old when we spoke

Ninety years and more

I asked him what it was like

When he served in the second

World war

 

You don’t need to know girl

What I know would make your toes curl

I don’t want to remember

Don’t ask difficult questions

My memory is blurred

 

But I’d really like to know, dad

Was it really, really bad?

It’s best you don’t ask, girl

It would only make you sad

 

All I can say is it ruined my life, girl

I was nineteen, when the call came

Already married with two children

When the day arrived to leave

I heard them calling out my name

I had no choice, it was not my place

To remain

 

We got lost in the dessert

For how long, I couldn’t say

All I know is when the day came

I returned to find my wife had been remarried

I was missing, presumed dead

Safe to say that on that day

My broken heart truly bled

 

But what about the others, dad?

Your other children and new wife?

Yes, it is true girl

I had been gone for quite some time

I met her while we were stuck there

Somewhere in Africa, I think

You have a half brother and a sister

But I don’t want to talk about it

It pains me to think about our split

 

But dad, what about me and my brother?

Well. that was sometime later, girl

When the others had full grown

Yes, dad. But what about my mother

How did she end up on her own?

I don’t want to talk about it, girl

Nothing I can say will bring her home

But what about me and my brother?

Don’t you realise we were on our own?

 

We are all alone, girl

There was nothing I could do

I was a victim of our times, girl

Men were men, and girls were girls!

 

Please don’t ask me anymore, girl

Times were different back then

I had an eye for the ladies

And I was traumatised by war

It’s just the way it was!

 

There are no whys or wherefores

Things happened just because!

 

C.K. 22