I scoff them in the kitchen

I scoff them in the lounge,

scoff them in the dining room

i'm always on the scrounge.


I drop them while distracted

I drop them where I can,

never even notice

I have no eating plan.


I scoff them in the cinema

it's quite expected there,

I drop them in the foyer

no one turns a hair. 


In my flaky moments

the house becomes a skip,

when I shed confetti

my wife begins to flip


so I scoff them in the garden

scoff them in the shed,

in defence of pillow talk

I never scoff in bed. 




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Fri 22nd Oct 2021 16:24

Thanks Jennifer, it's all in the bag now! I was pleasantly surprised by the attention this got. I should have been in advertising. I prefer plain crisps, but do tend to dip them!


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jennifer Malden

Thu 21st Oct 2021 17:02

Have to confess have a passion for them too, but try to resist! Agree about the dog alert, also for salted peanuts, very bad for them! Prefer the classic, just salted ones. From the interest you sparked seems that few can resist them. Nice one.


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Wed 6th Oct 2021 17:04

Wow, gone and dunnit now, some major reaction, thanks folks.

Stephen, i'll watch out for that cheers.

Greg, there was always something furtive about cinemas to my mind, and therefore quite subversive. Flea pits were especially good for horror and sex, all griss to the crisp mill.

Thanks Kevin, good to hear from you!

Yes Stephen, sound advice indeed. The crisp is not for turning.

That's me, Hugh, thanks!

John, experience will always out. Can't be done quietly.

Graham, a good point. I don't like harsh tastes so tend to stick to the neutral (dippable) variety. A while back, you could get those Smith's bags with salt again but havn't seen them lately.

Thanks Trevor. You've got that right!

Thanks for looking in Holden Aisha and Pete.


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Trevor Alexander

Tue 5th Oct 2021 18:48

There are indeed some places that are no-go areas when it comes to the crunch!

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 5th Oct 2021 12:17

Love the snappy crisp (sorry) delivery of these words Ray. I take it that you like all varieties as you don't specify. Personally, I only like the traditional variety. Whatever happened to the little blue bag of salt eh? Ah well! time and tide.

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John Coopey

Tue 5th Oct 2021 07:36

Not to mention the unique property they have of putting a sleeping dog on high alert when you open the packet.

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Mon 4th Oct 2021 21:20

Roy ,a golden wonder😊

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Stephen Atkinson

Mon 4th Oct 2021 20:38

Ooh pickled onion flavour, but you're right, they're not for bed, there's always a random escapee that you find the next morning stuck to somewhere it shouldn't be.
Nice one Ray

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kJ Walker

Mon 4th Oct 2021 20:26

Right up my street this one Ray.

Cheers Kevin

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Greg Freeman

Mon 4th Oct 2021 18:34

Excellent poem, Ray. I especially like the verse about the cinema ... no wonder mice and even rats flourish there. They certainly did in Woking before the refurbishment. And you're right ... it's actually encouraged in the fleapits!

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Stephen Gospage

Mon 4th Oct 2021 17:07

I enjoyed this, Ray. Guilty pleasures and the like. Our minds must think alike because I also wrote a crisps poem a few years ago. I will post it on the blog.

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