Desperate Prayer
These bloodless wounds will never heal.
Pray,
"Father Time, save me."
I grow so weak as the not-blood spills.
Pray,
"Mother Nature, cure me."
Brother wind,
Sister rain,
Rock me. Wash me. Make me clean again.
Comments
Desperate Cure Wanted.
Great work Aviva (as always). I love the passion in your writing. Weathered Wounds?
Thank you for commenting Stephen, and for the suggestion. ?
'Weeping Wounds' might work well ?
Thanks also to everyone who has clicked 'Like' for this poem ?
An intense poem, deceptively simple. Perhaps "wounds" as a title?
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
Aviva Rifka Bhandari
Sun 9th May 2021 05:47
Thank you for your comment Tom, and for the title suggestion ?
I can see how 'weathered' could apply to time, nature, wind, rain, storm, and pain - but one of the interpretations of 'weathered' can mean 'got through it' whereas the subject of this poem hasn't 'got through it' at all. I hope you don't mind that I can't use this suggestion, I've had so many ideas about the title that I haven't used too ('Last Request', 'Between Gods', 'A Family Affair', 'For Crying Out Loud' - and those are just the one's that got written down then crossed out or recently thought of and rejected)
The reason why Weeping Wounds might work is because 'the not-blood' is tears, weeping wounds also can mean infected (too gross to explain further), and also there's the interpretation where 'wounds' is the verb - weeping (implied: too long) causes damage.
Still, I'm not absolutely sure yet about this title either or that there might not be some better idea ahead...
Thank you also Nigel for your suggestion ?
Although 'Desperate Cure Wanted' is the crux of the meaning, it would deflate the arrival of the word 'cure' when it appears in the poem. - but 'Desperate' or 'Desperate Prayer' might both work.