FLY TIPPING

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The tune is a mish-mash of "Star Trekking" and "While We were Marching through Georgia".  But the real debt is to Pam Ayres's "Littering" and to the dirty bastards who've dumped crap down our local country roads.

 

Fly tipping – we’re out for a nice ride

Fly tipping – the van is full inside

We’d have to pay at dumpit sites so blight the countryside

We’re your friendly fly tippers.

 

Two squashed moggies, mongrel bitch,

Dirty mags, plastic bags,

Mangle and a Hotpoint fridge,

Dumped beside a ditch.

 

Rolls and rolls of Baco Foil

Cans of oil, nappies soiled

Bags of turves and garden spoil

And contraceptive coil.

 

Fly tipping – we feel we play our part

Fly tipping – it’s just a form of art

John Constable did haywains and a Suffolk applecart

Our medium is fly tipping.

 

Busted donkey bought in Spain,

Weather vane, Hornby train,

With a lion that’s lost its mane

Down your country lane.

 

Baggy trousers, de-mob suit,

Rotting fruit, one old boot,

Kid’s tin drum and half a flute,

That once played root-toot-toot.

 

Fly tipping – down all our country lanes

Fly tipping – our rubbish and remains

Contemptuous and ignorant we shit on your domain

We are England’s fly tippers.

 

Asbestos, empty tins of peas,

Cardboard boxes, old settees,

Tampons, condoms, blocks of breeze,

Black bags of dog faeces.

 

Stereos and broken fans

Baked bean cans, pots and pans,

Stockings worn by trans and grans

Cars and burnt out vans.

 

Fly tipping – we’re out for a nice ride

Fly tipping – the van is full inside

We’d have to pay at dumpit sites so blight the countryside

We’re your friendly fly tippers.

◄ REDDIT

STAIRLIFT TO HEAVEN ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Wed 7th Apr 2021 22:28

Thankyou Stephen. On a general level I have always opposed capital punishment. But I would make an exception for fly tippers.

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 7th Apr 2021 17:56

Splendid stuff. Perhaps we should tip the tippers (not financially, of course).

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John Coopey

Mon 5th Apr 2021 22:00

I couldn’t agree more, MC. I agree too that local councils could do more; not least in being less draconian in what the binmen will take away and also abolishing the charges they make at the dumpit sites for taking certain items - paint and glass and rubble for example.
And thanks for the Like, Julie, Holden, Aviva and Hugh.

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 5th Apr 2021 19:35

If iI had my way there would be an offence of "Despoiling the
Environment" - summary trial, with immediate imprisonment,
determined by type, seriousness - and also frequency where appropriate. The BBC Panorama TV programme did a recent
sting on a so-called licensed operator and bugged the rubbish,
They duly located it in a country lane and, when confronted, the
operator said he'd off-loaded it to another concern for disposal
as he was too busy - or something! The bottom line - the "muck" if
you like - stops at the local councils who seem very lax about
enforcing what law there is, claiming lack of funds and the
difficulty of enforcement etc. 😠

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