Feline Grace

in the bathroom is an old jar of vaseline

on seeing it my cat heads for the doors

but really what else can I look forward to

now the virus has curtailed my amours?


when much younger I was an altar boy

serving old father macdonagh at the altar

did he ever give in to wayward thoughts?

did those vows of celibacy never falter?


the convent was replete with pious old nuns

doing endless good works for the afflicted

those saints knew sex was off the agenda

to poverty and chastity they were addicted


but I never signed up for any such vows

this virus reduced me to a trappist monk

I'm like a tom-cat trapped on a hot tin roof

my sex-life has been torpedoed and sunk


out there must be an agony of frustration

people itching like mad but unable to scratch

grown women hum, febrile with hungry looks

going out of their minds for any sort of catch


I feel they should put something in the water

in the trenchies the squaddies got bromide

otherwise they would have lost their reason

scarpered, or succumbed to mass suicide


today's romantic encounters can be deadly

first impressions no longer make me roar

all that counts is an up to date test result

vital statistics are not relevant any more


my skin's getting wrinkly from cold showers

that old jar of vaseline has lost its allure

if only the animal sanctuary would ring

my cat's had it, she's migrated next door

amourscelibacyfeline gracenunstest resultvaselinevirus

◄ Brown Velvet

Saving Me For Later ►


Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Fri 11th Sep 2020 11:18

Ah...bromide in the tea. i remember those days well! And are the
sheep still running for cover in those blue remembered hills? 😏

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message