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Kristian Deidre Brown

Updated: Wed, 30 Mar 2022 07:50 pm


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Outer Banks, NC 🌾 lover of words and of music sucker for a synth cancer survivor traveling down this road watching the signs as i go think i’ll follow the sun 🌞

Lucky Girl

i am a lucky girl. just recently i read that on average people take around 24,000 breaths everyday in between words and laughs and running late to their jobs. today i watched an old PJ Harvey concert on tv she was singing and screaming and breathing all over the place- it was great i bet i took a thousand breaths just sitting there watching without even realizing it that's very lucky! you know, you think you can imagine what it's like- not to breathe, i mean but you can't really it's the same as contemplating the beginning of time or the boundaries of space you think you can but really, you can't and you don't not until you have to not until one day, the phone rings and you hear the words you hoped you wouldn't and suddenly, everything in and around you stops it stops and it doesn’t it stops and moves faster the walls of the world crumble into nothing and time is frozen and in fast forward, somehow simultaneously like standing still in a real-time long exposure shot of a five o'clock freeway and somewhere buried beneath the words and numbers the seemingly millions of words and numbers that you never seem to hear after that on the frozen-fast-forward freeway is you- left to imagine the thing you cannot while death manifests in your body like a poisonous vine reaching its tendrils up and around your throat closing in and while you cannot understand you begin to feel the pressure and possibility of time of future of life slipping away and it feels like falling like falling straight out of the sky and right through the earth and there is nothing underneath nothing to grab onto just a heavy and sometimes weightless freefalling existence in those days, those months, i did not remember to breathe but today, i did. today i drank coffee and played with my dog i watched a PJ Harvey concert and for the first time put a little of it into words all the while breathing in and out in and out roughly 24,000 times and anyways, mostly everyday now i think of that and what a lucky girl i really am.

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Tue 19th Jan 2021 18:19

Hi Kristian, very much enjoyed reading some of your work.

I suspect there are umpteen survivors on WOL, of what you yourself have experienced treatment wise, and it is courageous of you hint at those experiences.

The increasing trend in this, adds, I am sure, an extra string to the pen of Blog.


P ?

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Stephen Atkinson

Mon 18th Jan 2021 08:25

Welcome to WOL Kristian! Look forward to reading more of your words. Good start by the way! I think a lot of people on here will relate to your poems. ?

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