You truly are my automare

My four-wheeled bankruptcy

My fuel-injected money pit

Made from steel and reformed shit

A velour upholstered credit card hit

Five gears of utter hell

We got off to the worst of starts

And it went downhill from there

Grinding brakes and groaning springs

Ropey tyres and front wheel spins

These are a few of my least favourite ...

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Anaglypta, portaloos

Double glazing, snakeskin shoes

V8 twincam, lightning strikes

Mental illness, Pennine hikes

Great North Runs and parking bays

Eminem meets Peter Glaze

Last bus home and suicide

Cheesecake and formaldehyde

Miniskirts, pay and display

Alloy wheels and Peter Kay

Pop-ups, blouses, USBs

Berlusconi, birds and bees

Window locks...

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