I remember exactly the spot

the place I sat

when she told me

I remember the cooling coffee

forgotten

when I was told

I remember the uncertainty

in her voice

when she told me

but

I remember how I smiled

the joy I felt

when I first knew

my almost son

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The shock was solid as a punch

That left me breathless, faint, unmanned;

So obviously lost that chair and water came

And it was I – so very briefly – nursed

Until my mind began to grasp the truth it had shunned.

How could I not have guessed or known

The woe, the pain, the destruction?

After all these many years, my failure to feel –

My hiding from the very possibility ...

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