https://youtu.be/Nv9OvYKyZHs

At some point during my childhood

I decided that I would apologise for everything, just in case.

I must have done so many things wrong as a kid

That it was just easier to apologise for everything I did

And I found it was a very easy habit to adopt

Once started, I’ve never really since stopped

And pretty soon, in all forms of communication

I was ...

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Yesterday I fell in love with a face.
Only for five minutes or so:
Wholly inappropriate, I know -
an excess of emotion displaced
while I tried my best to make you safe
as I had been taught to do.

I found you lying on the floor,
an empty bottle as a clue:
You did pretend-coma so well,
as you had being chest-stabbed just before.
But as I practised faux first aid -
lifted your young chin...

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Preamble: this is a little ditty inspired by the beautiful but slightly puzzling song "Te Manquer" by Grand Corps Malade, with its refrain (in English) "I just want you to miss me".

Do I want someone to miss me
Or is it enough to know
There are folk that will miss me
The day I have to go?

Do I want someone to miss me
Or would I rather share
My time with those that would miss me
But don...

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Autumn arrives at last, unseasonably late.

Frustrated at being forced to wait,

she makes her displeasure known

in a sudden, howling rainstorm that threatens more

than the dying leaves that are her due.

But she finds herself part-thwarted in her mission.

Others have shown their anger before:

the best plum tree felled by the surprise late snow of April;

the elderberries ...

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Mini-humans converge
drawn but not defeated by routine.
So much colour,
movement,
noise -
so much future in one place
cannot be discreet.

Suddenly
I understand.
Quarts trapped in pint-pots!
Spirits simply too big
to fit still-growing bodies.
So much lifeforce
escaping -
shouting,
rough-and-tumble,
temper tantrums -
excess leaking from
unfinished containers.

Later, on the tra...

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I have no roots –

only memories.

Present becomes past before my eyes

Life is lived, recorded there, somehow,

More or less imperfectly inscribed

Within my head, thus stored behind my brow.

These things exist for me, just in my mind,

For if I try to seek them out again

There’s only ever something new to find:

Nothing in the stillness can remain.

I have no root...

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Preamble: my little effort for #napowrimo Day 10, inspired by the prompt "bloodstone" from @Fallspoetry on Instagram.

Too impatient for emerald or even diamond

I came to claim bloodstone as my own

Entering via Aries

Heated veins are my weakness

Yet I have not spilled blood

Only shared it

Thus I am a footsoldier

Of the Mother Goddess

And if my robes ...

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Preamble: it took the death of a friend to push me into at last trying free verse, and quite frankly it makes me nervous.

Decades proud

You were of this land long before the moving bone-bags appeared

claiming paper-thin possession.

Still, generous to a fault, you shared the profits of your growth.

I wonder how many generations you trained

in the art of pick-your-own?

Lips on g...

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If I could take the thoughts you most like to think

And sculpt them into text that speaks to you as art,

If I could take the feelings you most want to share

And mirror them in words, reflected in your heart,

Then would you more easily forgive my selfish pen?

Excuse the vacant looks, the lost half-hours when

I am not yours, as I wander some distant mental shore?

If you liked my...

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Preamble: just a little ditty I threw together for napowrimo day 4, prompt word “radar” from @avolitorial on Instagram. Please read nothing into it - it is not at all based on reality. Honest guv'nor. 

“Hey! How’s things? Are you okay?”

Why did this come from YOU?

Why was I on YOUR radar, when

those closer never knew?

What psychic powers do you own?

What signals d...

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This morning’s glorious golden hour

On this day, leaves me cold.

The sweet dawn chorus lingers on

No joys to me unfold.

No light or beauty penetrates

The fog within my head.

Become so numb, I can but wait

In longing, for my bed.

For National Poetry Month 3rd April 2019 – prompt from IG @tristameer “use the word ‘golden’ in a poem”.

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Always the same question.  Is today the day
that I don’t make it through? That I give up and run away?
Is it today I fail to act, to deceive, to pretend
When I can't keep the smile held in place until the end?

I try to be a mirror. I’m just a parasite, 
A blood-sucker feeding on their energy and light. 
I just give back to others what I take from them by stealth
I've no resources in me le...

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Stay up until all hours with work stuff,

Then wonder why the kids act at their worst,

Insist they play alone when you feel rough,

Then wonder which will throw a tantrum first.

You promise something then you make them wait,

Then wonder why they give you endless grief,

Sling insults when the school run’s running late,

Then wonder why they’re lacking self-belief.

Rec...

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If I could lie with poetry as if beside a lover,

Rhymes like arms to hold me, laden pages as a cover

between me and my reality, the truth I try to hide,

Too feeble for the malice of the world that waits outside.

If I could lie with poetry as if upon a lover,

Minds meeting as hearts beat to find the rhythm of the other,

Words caressing skin, or tasting sweet on lips so red,

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Preamble: I know some folk are not going to like this, but it's my right to be angry and I don't care who knows it.

Live version on Youtube: https://youtu.be/ckq0X_z6I6M

On the 30th of March 2019

I shall wake up significantly older

And no longer European.

What a great birthday present history has prepared for me -

After 4 decades on this planet, “we’re revoking your Eu...

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