To think it's been so long

Since I last saw you

This side of my persona

Has been stashed away

Like a cache of personalities

Itching to get out

Often I use this frame

Of reference

To get through a tough moment

I'm not so lost

I'm not so hurt

I'm not so confused

But I still need you

To myself who stashed myself

Away

Here I am

And I'm sorry

It's been...

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Although she was beautiful

her struggle never seemed to fade.

With roots as strong as hers she would always smile

even when her petals were plucked and frayed. 

Remember how her beauty glowed 

as she faced the sun with grace.

Half laughing, half crying 

somehow she bloomed from her pain. 

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A green bud breathing in,

say welcome to your kin,

a promising prospect of evolution,

let it grow as it makes a revelation.

Opening up to the world surrounding,

potential no longer withholding,

a mechanism of nature working its magic,

as mesmerising as a smoldering wick.

Green gives way to different colors,

reaching out tenderly are vivid petals,

blooming be...

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When you get out of bed in the morning
You shrink your feet to fit the flip-flops

When you eat your cereals
You shrink your stomach to feel you're full

When you dress up
You shrink your body to wear that pale coat
You shrink your colors because this season's trend
Is pale

When you go out
You shrink your thoughts to suit your pals
You shrink yourself to fit all those places
You hav...

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your fingertips are pulsing

from all that touchlessness

where do you leave your fingerprints

when no human skin is around?

your hands sniff touch

sniff skin

and they find you

tangled being, hanging plant

with your roots in the clouds

you touch yourself and discover

that you have human skin

below your mind's weeds

underneath you vegetal body

so you i...

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I felt like a clay pot

once from the earth

Born with spirit, soul cropped

The owners; my guardians, held me

They allowed me to be used

for my true purposes,

not as a pot but a holder of life;

Extraordinary.

Later, others wanted me to be a pot for use

To look and act like other pots 

Or my uniqueness challenged their sameness 

So I became like them, soul lost.

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We are all of us children
grown up and making our own
way in the world
still children
for all of that.

We are all of us dreamers
woken up to our own
reality
still dreaming
for all of that.

We are all of us lovers
in love with making our own
love love
still loving
for all of that.

We are all of us seekers
stretching up to find our own
place in this world
still seeking
for a...

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I am from prose into poetry
I am from madness into sanity
I am from doubt into belief

I am from anguish into ecstasy
I am from isolation into company
I am from hatred into peace

I am from discord into harmony
I am from solo into symphony
I am from restraint into release

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Narcissus creatures surround me.
Vultures, pecking at my serenity.
Testing my resolve.
Threatening to consume me.
Daring me to break free,
from a doomed mentality. 

Do I close my eyes to injustice
permeating our atmosphere,
like The Great Smog?

No.

I spread my Phoenix wings.
Rise above the toxic darkness.
Bring forth healing light.
Spread peace, kindness, love.

Never give up ...

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[ ] See the red flags and watch who & what in your life you allow.

[ ] A smile can be a frown upside down.

[ ] The energy vampires brings what appears as holy water only to watch you drown.

[ ] They see your King/Queen royalty & they want your crown.

[ ] You may not see them peeping, lurking, spying, but they're around.

[ ] They're studying you lowkey up & down, hair folli...

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There's 2 sticks

Give it A lot of friction

A slow building tension

Allow it some time It'll start, don't whine

See the little embers? 

all of the smoke?

Take a step back so you don't choke.

Give it room to breathe

Just watch, you'll see.

See, there's a little flame 

all you need is a little time and patience

You wouldn't want all that effort to be wasted.

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I was born at twenty-one

Thrust out of the womb

Released into the newness of life

Born, at twenty one

Eyes opened to the world 

Crying, struggling, fighting

Trying to make sense of it all 

Yes, I was only born at twenty-one

Borne out of education

Borne out of society’s expectations

Borne out of comfort, out of the shield

Though I lived before

I was onl...

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I May Be Wrong

I may be wrong but I’ll say it anyway

surely that is the point.

Jung’s theory of circumambulation says

“Give it a go”

Follow that glimmering thing

that interests you

down the path of development.

Heed the call to adventure

let new parts of you manifest.

Be the fool as precursor to

the Jedi master.

It’s an error ridden process

to ...

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An orange morning, 
a fresh aromatic air, 
and a cup of coffee
might make you crazily cool.

The multi-colour roses, 
a lush-green garden, 
and the love-filled people
might sway you in a romantic realm.

The dark clouds, 
a thunderstorm, 
and a forked lightning 
might throw you in a scary field.

The bad guys, 
an evil thought, 
and the black habits
might drive you glum and burri...

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Some mistakes cannot be undone

They haunt us with the rising sun

Memories that hijack the waking mind

And racing thoughts that make life grind

Though we attempt to bury them deep

When we’re vulnerable there they creep

So how from this torture do we escape

And begin our story to reshape

By accepting that we all have flaws

And we aren’t prisoners to what was

Piece by pi...

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Untouched but not Unfelt

Spent years like a husk
now life is kindling again,
purifying from pain
and pleasantly plentiful 
at present. 

The cage of the State 

is nothing, 

for I traversed the labyrinth of my own mind
and survived.

So I shall recognise shackles
as a concept,
but be mindful of surrendering control. 

Isolate from crowds but not from feelings,
not from unde...

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Hush now little seedling

Don't be afraid of the dark

You're going to grow and flourish

I'm giving you the best start.

You're going to be so beautiful

and do such wonderous things

You could be a saviour 

lets see what summer brings.

It's going to take some time

So be patient through the rain

You're part of a whole forest

Nature's whispering campaign.

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The rose recognizes the beauty of the sunflower, all the while self-assured in her own. She does not envy the golden beauty for her appeal to you

She knows better - she has guarded her stem from the likes of your fingers and the fingers of those before you, and the ones that will come after

She knows that while you, selfishly and ignorantly, believe the garden to be created for you...

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A miracle?

Prevented, unplanned, unknown.

...

2020.

4 years later.

3 years old, I can’t imagine,

life;

what it would be like.

Love,

is what,

I thought it was.

Learned,

you can love and let go.

For a reason, everything happens, they say.

Believed, I believe it.

A miracle.

A lesson.

You were a lesson.

Today,

I would not be who,

I am,

wit...

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what used to hurt me

still does

what used to scare me

still does

what used to make me curl up on the floor

shaking to my very core

still does

I am constantly afraid that one day

I will come face to face with my mistakes

a tableau of painful regrets and aches

the times I said I couldn’t when I could

the times I said I wouldn’t when I would

the past stil...

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There is a pit inside of me 

A deep, dark abyss where the negative thoughts grow 

“I will fail” 

“I cannot do this”

That is why 

When I look at you, there is pain behind my eyes

Bleeding onto my cheeks 

Staining all that surrounds me 

This bubble of safety 

Does not always contain it 

This is what high functioning looks like 

From afar, it is well co...

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A disingenuous wild wind

that blows through

the withered and weathered

leaves of a life.

A life left puzzling over its roots,

and its new growth,

outstretched limbs bending in the

ever-present breeze,

bowing down to the mighty

twists of stormy blasts

gathering unseen and unheard

all around and about.

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I am itchy

My scalp is itchy

I cannot stand how itchy it is

I smell

My whole body smells

I cannot stand how smelly it is

I feel slimy

My feet and groin feel slimy

I cannot stand how slimy I feel

It is my fault

The whole situation is my fault

I cannot stand how this is my entire fault

I made you upset

I continue to make you upset

I cannot stand how I f...

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I once made her my home.

I would go there every day.

I memorized the cracks on the walls, 

The shadows dancing around flickering lights, 

The water leaking through the floor.

I took a walk through haunted hallways where I hung portraits of childhood wounds,

memories of past heartbreaks, 

mementos of loss and regret.

But like a child who outgrows her clothes

I no lon...

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Be more by doing less.

Accomplish more by taking a rest.

Taste more by eating slow.

What seems unlikely

may bring the greatest reward,

as when we treat our adversary

with kindness.

Big weeds grow from a tiny seed.

Infection comes from a small scratch.

Small acts deter disaster.

Humble beginnings can grow into greatness.

The wise one perceives potential

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Standing your turf
wielding a giant pen.

Power serving words,
determined to win. 

Into the net,
foot-faulted
out of bounds,
disqualified.

Will you be the 
pinnacle of calm
or pull a McEnroe? 

Steady your pace
or steamroll every 
opponent you face?

Time tames 
the temper
as many 
professionals
know. 

Love,
match point,
grow. 
 

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Old wounds have begun to heal.

This new life feels unreal. 

The shadow hanging above my soul.

I was once trapped within a role.

The wounded one full of anger

Dragging his worthless anchor.

Behold look into the mirror.

Now gaze upon your own error.

You thought you couldn't stumble

But it's the season to be humble.

No time for embracing illusion.

The former has reach...

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Others create self-serving expectations

That they thrust upon you with no hesitation.

Always remember you have two choices,

To heed or ignore the many voices.

Most define themselves by what others say,

Resigned to play the games people play.

Sooner or later they will awaken,

Realizing that they’ve been mistaken.

Then a rebirth for all to see.

Some will rejoice, some will...

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You cannot walk the journey for another man.

You cannot gift him with the perfect plan.

We all stand in the universe of our own creation.

A product of our limited expectation.

Many lust for the mantle of wisdom,

Only to create self-serving fiefdoms.

An old story stuck on reset.

What you give, is what you'll beget.

An old story stuck on reset.

What you give, is what ...

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All the hurt is making me stronger, The deceitful ways help me strive for better days,

I know how it feels not to be loved by your loved ones

I know how it feels to be cold,

Living with no heat, three pairs of socks on my feet,

Still I stay strong in the mist of my storm

Knowing my self worth is better than not knowing at all,

So many stumbles and falls I took to see me,

...

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Inhale
Exhale
Your very first
My most important

Your hand
My thumb
You held it so tight
I couldn't hold my tears

8pm
2am
Every night
To make sure you're fed

My side
Her side
You in the middle
Across from your neglected crib

Left foot
Right foot
Your first steps
Corners were quickly covered

Fast forward
Slow down
You're getting so big
I always did my very best

Sh...

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She, 

 is not yet an old soul. Such apprenticeship has not yet begun.

Studiously she watches as you cite your second hand wisdom. 

Bested by her innocence,  such familiar nostalgia withers like the thick layer of dust it hides beneath.

Shaken and bruised like brine against an ice cube,  the vermouth of your ideals is poured into an ill fitting glass.

Left feeling dirty you turn to d...

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A Tumblr picture; my first bikini

In the ocean

I had been so proud, disabled and beautiful

That's when you saw my shine

You reached out like a moth to a flame

Too fast, my love, too fast

One makes mistakes

when no one hesitates

Oh how much you have grown my love

Not only have you become the man I saw all along

You have become the man you have always wanted to be

I ...

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Phases.  Transitory time patches

Grouped or characterised by a theme.

A shade, a colour, a tangible

And identifiable sameness.

Consistent, representative.

Phase of fashion. 

Action. 

Musical want. 

Reflecting an idea.

Ethos. 

Perhaps belonging. 

Tribal.  Feral.

Perhaps marking self out as distinct. 

Separating self from the others.

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Your born into a family
No one knows why 
Is it souls recconecting
Or random out of the sky 
You learn lessons from all 
Good and bad 
But family is something not everyone has
Some endlessly search  with false expectations 
And  some find love with no altercations. 
Open your mind and then you will see
Family is nothing different than a tree 
Leaves will come and go while branches will ...

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I've been lied to, setup, used as damage control, taken advantage of. thrown through your ringer and drowned in your crocidile tears. But you never knocked me down. Your sins against me, I wear them as armor.

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Flicked  flickering sand slices slashes

Pain and anguish portrude pen to paper

Releasing resting relief from crooked corner

Creation creates creativity

Crusty cankers and  cracked crevices

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Inside her closet are the remains of a broken umbrella with the materials in cinders.

Her skin cloak is draped over a spindley coat stand,

most people name it a spine,

most people's are strong,

straight.

They carry the puppet as if a master holding strings...

But sometimes autum's trees fall down

without reason

because nature is flawed.

Sometimes a stem ca...

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8 months

Is the longest I've been able to go without sex since I was 16

I stood frozen, mind racing a mile a minute

Trembling as the truth set in

I was unable look away

As memories replayed themselves like movies in the mirror

New characters and slightly different scenario in each one,

But the plot was always the same

Has always been the same

Since that time when I was 1...

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Another attempt at my paternal tongue.

Un altro tentativo di mia lingua paterna.

And though I beam with pride as I'm learning.

E anche se mi fascio con orgoglio, come sto imparando.

I'm aware that translated, the metre is wrong.

Sono consapevole del fatto che tradotto, lo strumento è sbagliato.

But this language pulsates to my yearning.

Ma questo linguaggio pu...

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In poetry, autumn is approaching death.

The mists of receding memory

part briefly in the shortening days

to feed the fruits of wisdom

to admiring young.

The dark night of winter

is a short blight

before life springs forth

again in proud perfection.

Floral beauty and rich crops

have spread their radiance,

fed their progeny, sown their seeds.

Done their job, returned to earth

to ...

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