I'm going to tell everyone that I wrote this!
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Tweaked it for now - in an inglorious Tarantino kind of way.
That's how it appears on the monologues site. Will think about that line. Thanks for all comments everyone.
Dave
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
The first two verses are so clever it hurts to read them. An Italian "Hiawatha" theme. I think it could have worked better by not limiting yourself to so few suffixes though. Brave stuff!
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
I wasn't really complaining about the word bastard. In some ways it is a good choice. The rhyming scheme is so tight that you really aren't expecting it and it makes it funny. I was being a bit ironic in my earlier comment.
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
love this it is so amusing.I'm not keen on the use of the word bastards on this occassion and have been looking through the dictionary to find another word and it has been quite difficult but have come up with 'lagsters' as lag pertains to slowness but not sure if lagsters relates?...Bernadette
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Loved it, Dave, wonderful. As others have pointed out "bastards" is a bit of a stumble. How about "Got to make the pasta faster so the profits will be vaster"?
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
This was really great, I love the humour of the piece, the fast pace and all the rhymes. It's very well put together. The line with bastards also threw me, as did this line: To our recipes down passed-a. But those are tiny complaints and it really is fantastic!
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
I think you are a pasta master at this type of poetry, Dave! I'm disappointed that you didn't chuck some of your own special Italian in though...
I think 'bastard' may also have thrown your rhyming scheme at one point - I won't hold it against you though!
This went down brilliantly at the Tudor - a great performance piece.
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
<Deleted User> (8043)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 08:21
Really enjoyed this! The line
' Cogs were whirring far too fast-a,
Flying belts went whizzing past-a.'
is easily the best of the whole place! Very amusing.
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
You've made me feel very hungry! And it's good wheeze to end every line by adding an "a". That'll make it rhyme!! ;-) (Only kiddin') Really enjoyed it Dave, thanks! x
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Ann Foxglove
Fri 24th Sep 2010 04:55
Well we're not going to believe you NOW are we? ;-)
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr