Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice

entry picture

"You must understand, your behavior is hurting your children."
I sat confused, expecting the psychiatrist to blame me
the trouble making teenager, the problem in the family
but he was directing his comments at my mother

Back at home in my room
I could feel my father as he walked in
and threw a piece of paper next to me on the bed
"Maybe it would be better for all of you if I were gone…"
written in my mother's hand
panic overwhelmed me
I turned to my father in horror
he was leaning against my doorway
with an accusing, but sarcastic look on his face
I flew upstairs from my bedroom to theirs
to find her lying very still in her bed

"Mom, Mom!"
I shook her shoulders insistently
groggily she awoke for a moment
"What is it?"
as my terror cleared
I noticed the mostly empty bottle of wine on the bedside table

She hadn't killed herself
she'd passed out
and there was Dad
again leaning against a bedroom doorway
a nasty smile on his face
and I realized
my father wanted me to believe she'd committed suicide

and that it was all my fault

◄ Cassie

Absolution ►

Comments

Big Sal

Wed 31st Jan 2018 12:59

True bathos here. You have some good poetry, it'd be good to see some 2018 writings.

Rachel Bond

Mon 19th Apr 2010 12:47

i think that to write the story its best to detach and semi autobiographise it.in this way you may go over areas of your life that are compelling without getting caught up in detail...you can also explore areas that are what ifs...or seperate endings/ split characters all sorts of possibilities. its potentially less painful also.
only my opinion. I write much more interesting stories when my characters are composite and i have a distance from the subject. all our histories contain painful moments and i believe when someone captures them right without sensationalism and with imagination they are cathartic, healing and make a fascinating read.

Rachel Bond

Mon 19th Apr 2010 07:37

hi lisa...ignore stefan.
i thought this was a great piece of writing as draft. the chill of realising the dad wrote the note is disturbing. id certainly want to read more from this as a novel/short story.the idea is strong.

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 18th Apr 2010 18:12

Good one Mrs Milligan!(hows Spike?still dead? hee..hee...'I could feel my Father as he walked in???should,nt be allowed!!!I remain Madam, your 'umble servant-Mr Wildeaboutwomen-xx

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