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(The counterpart to my previous "We are the Baby Boomers")


We are Millennial Snowflakes

So PC and woke

Always wearing pained expressions

Suffering from acute depression

Being young is oh-so stressful

Life’s beyond a joke

There’s no-one suffers more than me

Why, yesterday most cruelly

I got no signal on 4G

I need a snort of coke.


And we Millennial Snowflakes

Want it all today

Whatever is our latest craving

We can’t be arsed scrimp and saving

And cos we’re so entitled

Want it on a tray

We can’t be arsed with cookery

Or washing up the crockery

We’ll send out for a KFC

Or Chinese take-a-way


We are Millennial Snowflakes

Years and years in school

The sports we played were all but useless

No-one wins and no-one loses

Teachers dare not hurt our feelings

Dare not say call us fools

I called a teacher “Gormless Twat”

Then hit her with a cricket bat

She simply said “Please don’t do that.

Sit on the naughty stool”.


We are Millennial Snowflakes

Quick to take offence

Be it Mrs Slocombe’s “pussies”

Love Thy Neighbour, On the Buses

Emotionally we’re fragile

So delicate that hence

We abhor gender demarcation

Cultural Appropriation

Blaming the last generation

We lack commonsense.




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John Coopey

Tue 28th Jan 2020 19:14

Thanks, MC. I particularly enjoyed writing
“Be it Mrs Slocombe’s pussies
Love Thy Neighbour, On the Buses”

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 28th Jan 2020 17:19

JC - as effective and inspired as your previous post, this had me
grinning. not least at the deftly chosen emphasis on certain words
along the way. If there was a "Doctorate in Pertinent Pastiches"
(fondly known to elegible talents as "piss-takes"), you'd be getting
your degree at the heard of the queue.

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John Coopey

Mon 27th Jan 2020 22:07

I p*ss in anyone's general direction, Brian.

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Brian Maryon

Mon 27th Jan 2020 21:54

You sure you're not a Tory?

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Brian Maryon

Mon 27th Jan 2020 21:54

That's most of the Labour and LD membership alienated then John. You swine you!

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