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(I believe the price has gone up to £15 this year)


We bought our discount clubcard

It wasn’t very dear

Fo’ Notcutts Garden Centre -

Just twelve quid fo’ one year;

Besides percentage discounts

There’s coffee or there’s tea

Or even cappuccinos

That’s two a month fo’ free;

Now, reckon up two coffees

At just two quid a punt,

That’s forty eight quid fo’ the year,

Yer see, yer well in front;

Now I’m not known for parting wi’

My brass so liberally,

It’s said as I’ve got hap’nies as

My grandad gen to me;

But there’s temptation waiting there

On which my cash I’ve blown,

That’s way beyond what Adam faced –

Yer Notcutts fresh-baked scone;

I’m loathe to give it air-time

An’ cause a sconeless drought

Occasioning a run on it

In case supplies run out;

Besides fruit scones there’s walnut

An’ ones wi’ chocolate in

Wi’ raspberry fo’ yer five-a-day

(That’s what I call “win-win”);

I get a fruit one fo’ missen

And chocolate fo’ the spouse

Than lather it wi’ butter

Enough to point an ‘ouse;

The top is nice an’ crispy wi’

The middle fresh an’ soft

It doesn’t last two minutes out

Before it’s all bin troughed;

So listen up, you shoppers

An’ tek my sound advice

Just get yersens to Notcutts -

It’s really, really nice.




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John Coopey

Wed 22nd Jan 2020 18:07

Thanks, MC. I have just developed this theme in my latest piece.

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 22nd Jan 2020 18:01

Yer pays yer money
And yer takes yer choice!
A yummy subject enticingly created.

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John Coopey

Wed 22nd Jan 2020 09:50

Thanks, Po. Glad to get your juices flowing.

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Paul Sayer

Tue 21st Jan 2020 23:09

Fan-Bloody-Tastic-Right-Tasty-Were-That---- Mmmmmm

Loved this with a cherry on top and lashings of cream.

Great poem John


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John Coopey

Tue 21st Jan 2020 14:17

I heard you were on your way, Kevin. I got out just in time!

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kJ Walker

Tue 21st Jan 2020 13:06

Are tha' stalking me John. I went to notcutts (Featherston) on Saturday. First time I'd been in over a year. And yes I did have a scone. Very nice it was too.

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John Coopey

Tue 21st Jan 2020 00:50

Oo no, Brian. Scons are for the horsey set.

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Brian Maryon

Mon 20th Jan 2020 22:20

See John, if you had my background you'd say 'scon' ...not 'scone'

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