But I'm better...

But I'm so much better...

It's been eons since those devilish little whispers were anything more than passing spirits ...or has it been but a moment

Today they are screaming

Today they are deafening

Today I feel them vibrate through my entire being

...I am scared....

I am terrified that once again the monsters within me shall chase away the light I have found

I am petrified of dancing to the melody of their laughter

Walking the path etched in my flesh

Watching my body replay my greatest regrets

The hunger of an addiction I pretend I never had


Smiling while I sing the lies I desperately cling to

Standing tall while everything that I am seems to be curling in on itself

Playing the role I know is a lie

I don't want to admit it

I don't want to face it

I don't want anyone to see just how much the disease has spread

But...I'm more scared of how it grows in the darkness

Spreading like a plague

Devouring the parts of me I am proud of

Leaving only that which I wish to hide