Plastic Jesus on the dashboard

St. Christopher pinned to the visor

a rosary around the rear view

all the insurance he needs

just in case

he hits a fire hydrant or a house

or another speeding car

 

when the flashing lights come on

one last gulp before he's pulled over

patted down and tested

he walked the line

but fell off before the end

 

drunk tank blues

misery loves company

Miranda rights and mug shot

the judge gives him a stern lecture

suspended drivers license

and 60 days community service

he's got a record now

but no one was killed

 

plastic Jesus worked all right

he saved some innocent lives tonight

 

there is no sense in driving stoned

save misery, include your own.