''Listen 'ere mush'' I growled to Mark

as he grabbed all the duvet for himself

''I demand my fair share of it

or you'll be sleeping by yourself!''

 

''But I'm COLD'' he moaned miserably

tucking the duvet under his chin

''I've got it wrapped around meself

and tucked me little tootsies in!''

 

''That's OK with me'' I replied

''but I'm laying here totally bare!

Not even a bit of a corner

or a tiny amount to spare!''

 

So, tonight, as always it's duvet wars!

as I heroically yank it back

in between fits of giggles

trying to make his strong grip go slack

 

''PISS OFF!'' he screams in desperation

as I wrestle it from his grip

and manage to get a squidge of it

not much, just a tiny bit

Then as I grab it off him

I give a hard tug, just once more

and lay there laughing hysterically 

as he falls from the bed to the floor!

 

It looks like he's been in an avalanche

ensconced, laying there in a heap

then he tries to heave himself back up

so out of bed I'll creep, around his side

EUREKA! I've got my hands on it now!

And toss half of it onto my side

and he sceams ''YOU MISERABLE, SELFISH OLD COW!''

 

So I wrap myself in it daintily

all smug and smarmy and slimy

He's got his half

I've got mine

It was a Battle Royal, oh blimey!