Not weary or, "All tuckered out,"
On every level,
Past the point of return, burned out,
As one thing after another, smothers
The breath from my chest,
As test after never ending test,
"Trust falls," backwards into my waiting hands,
Screaming, "Catch me if you can!"
And all the, "Peppy," shit that I've told myself across the years,
Can barely stem the tide of tears,
That washes at my shore,
And what the fuck does life offer in return for my efforts?
More grief and torment, more pressure,
Forget the award of time off for good behaviour, forget leisure,
Life wants to work you 'til you're broken,
'Til no more positives can be spoken,
And every smile to grace your face is token,
Like a clowns,
Scraped in greasepaint, over a heavy frown,
Let's slap on a plastic smile and practice this shit 'til we've nailed it down,
Take one more trip in the comedy car around town,
While beneath the mask and the false laughs and the endless, "Sniff my flower's,"
The blood pumps in ever thickening hours,
And quietly, sadly, I gladly go insane,
Accept the blame attached to my name,
And realise it's all the same, whether I do or not,
How could you forget what can't be forgot?
Just bring forth the dark slot, and get on with the rot,
All the things that once seemed set in stone now seem unclear,
And every aspect of life that tries to scare me can go fuck itself,
I'm done with fear,
And if you're the one who smashed the windows,
Then pick up your own fucking glass,
'Cos my time for doing it for you has passed,
Probably time to start thinking about where you've been throwing stones,
And realise that every single one was yours to throw and yours alone,
So grow the fuck up and take ownership of your time, 'cos mine's nearly expired,
Time for you to take hold, to inspire and be inspired,
'Cos I'll tell you, even though nobody enquired,