Coming home from Saturn
Saturn doesn’t make things easy. It demands structure, discipline, and order. It governs old age along with the lessons it teaches us and it pays attention on how we manage our limitations. Above all, this ringed planet values growth and hard work.
It took me a while to recognize my own pain, but when I did, I have finally understood how to heal, and if I can be completely honest, it is not as beautiful as what we watch in movies or what we read in self-help articles. It is crying yourself to sleep, standing in the shower for a long time, and falling into unhealthy patterns until you finally acknowledge your pain, so as I stand in the gap between trauma and recovery, in the space between the past and the future, I find myself shedding the old skin of the person I used to be being replaced by a new skin that feels unfamiliar yet just right. This moment allows me to figure myself out and recognize that my bones are made out of stardust, and it has given me the love and patience I need to discover which parts I want to keep and which parts I want to build.
So here I am, on my way home, I have discovered more of myself as I navigate inside this unfamiliar territory. I am putting myself back together in a way that requires great precision and a lot of discipline, so the next time I fall, I don’t break easily.