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Flight to freedom

I can see the dawn bursting at the distant horizon

It's still a far fetched dream, but I shall persistently pursue

For it's an endeavour with happy colours and deep peace

It was just yesterday I tripped and fell, lost my smile in wilderness

I went looking for it but was unable to get another sight of it

After long searching and turmoiled balancing, hopes were lost too

Then suddenly yesterday night a keeper whispered into my ear

Hey beautiful bird spread your wings of beautiful colours and get ready to fly

I stood long at the edge of a cliff with my wings all spread, ready to fly across

The wings fluttered, I took many unsure steps, with wings still fluttering

But over the years the unused wings, birdie just forgot how to fly

The bird around the cliff gasped for breath, looked everywhere 

No help could help her fly, from the sky above an angel appeared

She slowly touched the wings, ran along with the scared bird

Building hope, renewing strength and confidence

For about a mile they together giggled, laughed and smiled

And from over the cliff, they plunged and together they did fly

A miracle returned my lovely smile, confidence and my laughter wild

Now wings spreading across the sky, I happily glide and fly

◄ Inspired words!!

My sleep went moon walking!! ►



Mon 18th Nov 2019 15:51

Hey John, thank you so much... I'll make the necessary changes. 👍

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john short

Mon 18th Nov 2019 15:14

Hi Do.RoThy

Not a comment on the poem itself which seems to be a kind of psychological allegory (?) but I'd suggest you look over this again as there's a typo in line five and in line ten.

I never really understood why some poets begin every new line with a capital letter (but some good ones still do). You've chosen this style and yet consistently written your I's everywhere else in lower case. Can't fathom the thinking behind this.

There are a few little words and repetitions that could be edited out but I do like 'turmoiled balancing'. Poems get better with multiple re-workings and the time to marinate a bit.

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