The Visit

and then there was the room 

and it was bare

and the bulb was bare that lit it 

and in the corner the man was bare 

his back was turned 

and he sat 

and he held his arms over his head 

crossed in front of his face 

and you could tell he had sat there 

for a while as you breathed

that scent of stillness 

that nothing had changed 

that time was empty 

like a calendar without numbers or days 

or phases of the moon 

just empty squares 

like the room 

bare 

and there was a taste of metal 

like in the dead of winter 

so long before your tongue 

had touched another's 

but had dryly extended 

that lover of language 

and pressed against the cold steel 

of a high chain link fence 

and you wondered if that icy gray adhesion

would forever numb flavors 

more subtle than that salty 

woolen taste that came from crying 

for mitten mouth comfort 

and the room was bare

and the man sat 

and there was a taste of metal 

and the man was crying 

silently 

but there was a rhythm to the fall and rise 

of his bare arms 

while his long dirty-nailed fingers 

held the top of his head 

like the blessing of a father 

but because he was alone 

and they were his hands 

it was less blessing than protection 

as he appeared to cower from blows 

which came from dark imaginings 

as the room was empty and bare

and the man sat and there 

was a taste of metal 

and the man was crying 

and there was a window high and barred

with smoke-gray sky 

and just enough light to cast

a long dim shadow of the man

onto the far wall 

and because he sat naked 

with arms crossed 

hands on head 

silently sobbing 

his shadow was a wounded bird 

tempest ravaged 

flockless and unfeathered 

blown off course 

through the high bars 

of the bare room 

to mimic and mirror 

the irrhythmic despair 

of the man who sat bare

all alone there 

for you had gone 

without speaking 

heartbroken by all 

that could not be said.

◄ Small Change

The Sound of Dreams ►

Comments

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Mae Foreman

Mon 21st Oct 2019 07:54

Adam that's extraordinary! I love it! Each of your poems is better than the one before! Excellent! I love it when I don't understand what I've written, it means the piece has a life of its own. Kudos!🎈


Mae

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Adam Rabinowitz

Sun 20th Oct 2019 02:28

Thank you, Ray, for reading and commenting. I really appreciate the feedback. Have a great day.

A.

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raypool

Sat 19th Oct 2019 22:24

There is a compulsive sense of drama from the weight of repetition and all the movement is in the writing in contrast to the stillness of the subject. I think it is highly effective and can be open to interpretation.

A fine piece Adam

Ray

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Adam Rabinowitz

Sat 19th Oct 2019 19:06

Thank you both for reading. It is weird for me because I wrote it but am still so uncertain of its meaning...it has my gray matter bubbling as well.
A.

DESMOND CHILDS

Sat 19th Oct 2019 18:04

I left and said nothing. Then came back and said something. Like watching an uncomfortable state of mind. Like an unclothed mind in a shadow world. Certainly got the the old grey matter bubbling.


All the best des

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branwell kent

Sat 19th Oct 2019 16:59

very good, mysterious poem

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Adam Rabinowitz

Sat 19th Oct 2019 06:00

First I wrote it as the man but then thought that perhaps I was the you that left. Would it make a difference to you from whose perspective it was written or read? Would you leave without saying anything?

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