Up The Tops

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The dints of last week’s walk

still scar the turf

a white scratch

which raised sparks

last Sunday

a scrape, a scuff of ill planned heel

on rock.

The frog had gone,

an obscenity of frogspawn in it’s place

gazing blandly up

with a thousand jelly eyes.

The hare

was still there

the long thigh bones

the scraps of fur

an eye, black and shiny and congealed with flies last Sunday

empty this one,

not a bit of meat remained.

Stopping. Shielding eyes from  the sudden glare of sun-out-of-cloud

we saw a line

of Minis

stretched along the road,

Something solemn,


despite the Smartie colours

car on car on car

forty or so

when they had processed from sight

and a hen harrier

arcing above the ragged crows

caught our attention

the sudden stillness

and the silence

but for the wind in rushes.

But for the ticking of a pipit.

But for the baleful growl of a Pheasant, nesting low,

made me catch my breath

like an ice cold gulp of water.

◄ Remembering The Scharnhorst

Lucy ►


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Tommy Carroll

Tue 30th Mar 2010 12:43

''Obscenity of spawn''??

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Ray Miller

Mon 29th Mar 2010 11:09

Liked this a lot, Rachel. "a scrape, a scuff of ill planned heel on rock" and "But for the ticking of a pipit" two of several good lines. Why an obscenity of frogspawn?If I were to be critical, I'd say the punctuation and line breaks are a bit erratic. Lovely poem, nonetheless.

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Andy N

Mon 29th Mar 2010 08:15

good stuff, rachel. really enjoyed this... nicely judged

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Dave Bradley

Sun 28th Mar 2010 22:48

Can but agree with the others. Terrific. A hen harrier - lucky you.

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 28th Mar 2010 12:53

A lovely well observed piece Rachel with some very clever words. A thousand jelly eyes is great although the obscenity of frogspawn didn't sound right to me. Loved the feel of the birds and the almost surreal entrance of minis to what is a superb natural scene. Perhaps your best work for my liking.

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Greg Freeman

Sun 28th Mar 2010 12:19

Wow, Rachel, this is absolutely the business! So well-observed, nature in tooth and claw, plus Minis. I've been waiting for you to introduce birds into your poems. The whole thing is like an "ice cold gulp of water." What a landscape. Marvellous. Greg

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 28th Mar 2010 11:00

Ah!! so there you beautifully are-was it worth mithering you back again? too bloody right!(aw swearing on Palm Sunday)as to the poem? mmmmmm...not bad-not bad! just flippin brill! now put that navel down(save me the cheese!)loadsa love-Steffamungus-xx

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 28th Mar 2010 07:04

What a great poem Rach! Really brill! I've missed you, this is worth the wait. You are fab! xx

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