With Reasonable Force


Spare the rod and spoil the child.

Never did me no harm.

It’s what we called a ‘good hiding’.

How else are they gonna learn?

You’ll feel the back of my hand, young man.

I’ll box your ears for sure.

I reserve the right to use reasonable force

to physically punish the small.


I refuse to see the irony,

recycling of violence,

desensitizing little kids,

stamping on their dignity.

My hypocrisy, it knows no bounds,  

I’ll teach them not to bully!

I reserve the right to use reasonable force

to establish infant boundaries.


It’s not confusing double-standards,

this is my Authority!

They’ll do just what I bloody say

not what I bloody do, okay?

I wouldn’t do this to an adult,

it’s a punishable crime!

But I reserve the right to use reasonable force,

inflict it on my child.


Slipper, cane, knuckle, fist,

instil mistrust and bitterness.

Paddle, hairbrush, leather strap,

build resentment, slap by slap.

Father’s belt, Mother’s palm

calmly doles out injury.

They reserve the right to use reasonable force

on their own defenceless progeny.


It takes too long to talk about

the ways to deal with life.

It’s too much trouble chatting to

this human being of mine.

I haven’t got the patience

to explain the wrong from right,

so instead I’ll take the easy route

and smack into compliance.

It’s not assault, it’s justified,

within the bounds of duty.

I reserve the right to use reasonable force,

treat violence with barbarity.


That’ll learn ‘em!


◄ Manspreader Ha-cha-cha-cha

A Capital Demand ►


<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 4th Oct 2019 23:16

I think this is one of those laws that will be very difficult to police and enforce, but I expect support for it will grow amongst new parents in particular and behaviours will change accordingly. And the message will be carried via social media to other parts of the UK and we too will change our behavior, law or no law.

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 4th Oct 2019 16:53

Now they should sort out their considerable problem with alcohol -
the cause of so much aggression and physical harm there.

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Fri 4th Oct 2019 14:05

A headmaster once said to me."To discipline a school you must practice the three F s".I was beginning to wonder what he was going to say."Be firm ,be fair,be friendly,in that order.I said, "Lets make it four and add another f to your three, be funny."

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