Black Jack

Pack the haversack Jack and hang it slack on the scatback,

Attack the track like a lightning crack all the way to the tamarack,

The Andoraks are in die back so don't backtrack to the black shack,

There's a carack on waters slack, with coin to hijack and bring back.

Ride bareback with your gripsack push hard through the hardhack,

Don't go offtrack with that knapsack or mess with its rickrack,

Hold hard jack like a mossback running on hot tintacks,

Don't get bushwhacked by the cheapjacks earning coin as bootblacks,

Let your bullets crack with whack jack and bring the booty back,

There'll be applejack and racks of flapjacks by the time you get back.

◄ The Deity Screams

The Key Fumbled ►

Comments

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Don Matthews

Thu 5th Sep 2019 13:28

Fox hiding in sox
Heard the flackers in sack
And said what a good fox am I
Cos I haven't wriggled in and mucked up their fun

Am I a red fox or a grey fox?

WOL Riddle Master where are you?

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Jason Bayliss

Thu 5th Sep 2019 13:15

And a fox in Sox.?

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Don Matthews

Wed 4th Sep 2019 23:20

You missed an essentual ingredient to any good yarn:

a flack in a sack in a shack

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Jason Bayliss

Wed 4th Sep 2019 22:55

Thanks Jennifer, glad you enjoyed it, and yes, some of the words do have to be looked up.?

J. x

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jennifer Malden

Wed 4th Sep 2019 20:04

It's definitely not claptrap so you deserve a whack on the back! Will have to go and look up half the words when I have time. Really enjoyable!

Jennifer

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Jason Bayliss

Sun 1st Sep 2019 22:28

Just riffing Mae, just happily riffing?.

J. x

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Mae Foreman

Sun 1st Sep 2019 20:51

I am loving these comments almost as much I'm loving this ingenious poem! Kudos Jason?
Mae

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Jason Bayliss

Fri 30th Aug 2019 17:20

Thanks Devon and penguin, I had in mind some sort of outlaw type figure (Black Jack). But it really was like riffing, a bit, which is probably why it seems to have a "beat." I know what you mean Devon, but can't think of the track, it's like the echo of a whisper.

J. x

penguin

Fri 30th Aug 2019 16:20

Enjoyed. I can almost hear Ella Fitzgerald.

Devon Brock

Fri 30th Aug 2019 15:16

Jason,

Love the intense rhythm and rhyme of this poem. I've been snapping my fingers and reading it aloud - multiple times. I would love to hear an audio file of this. It almost reads like "Hit the Road Jack", but there is another tune that is hanging around in the back of my head that is more rhythmically similar. As you gave me "Othello" (and thank you for that), perhaps you know what tune that's snapping away at the back of my skull.

You are always one to write positive and inspiring work, and this one does it in a very Beat fashion.

Thanks,

D

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Jason Bayliss

Fri 30th Aug 2019 15:08

Not a clue where this one came from just had that "Ack," sound on my tongue. ?

(P.S. They are all genuine words, none made up for poetic licence ?)

J. x

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