On A Wing and A Prayer

entry picture

A very private piece I posted on my Public Blog, this morning.  Please come and tell me what you think.

www.creativewritingwithbsk.com

   On A Wing and A Prayer

 

I came into this world on a wing and prayer.

Soon my innocence robbed, my spirit I don't know where.

Born by anger, confusion and sin.

I hid my pain, and my fear I kept within.

 

During my youth, my innocence all but gone,

By tortured events through a series of wrongs.

Alcohol and Drugs was my way to cope each day.

Getting past Father Time, this seemed to be my way!

 

Sex was something I enjoyed when I felt lost.

Substituting for loneliness with no real cost.

It wasn't soon enough a child's birth saved my life.

A special young man I am proud to see in this light.

 

I can tell you that little spirit, he helped me find a way.

With the help of my angels and special friends of a past day.

Courage is a part of my faith I try to keep in stride.

Bringing pride to those Rocky Roads, I all but wanted to hide.

 

My adult years are winding down slowly, I am afraid to say.

Golden youth shares my spirit, my soul is ready to call it a day.

So, when my days have come to a welcome end.

My last wish is to leave the way I came in....

                                                            On A Wing and A Prayer

 

#inspirational

◄ A Memory Lost in Time

Patience ►

Comments

Profile image

Don Matthews

Fri 2nd Aug 2019 00:26

" As a poet, we write to stir emotion; we hope the reader will feel from the words we put together. Between the flow of a piece, the rhyme and subject the reader should feel something. Otherwise, the writer has missed his mark"

Oh Belinda, I couldn't agree more.....

Profile image

Belinda Sue Kiser

Thu 1st Aug 2019 20:45

Dear Do.RoThY, Thank you for your kind words. I read a few of your poems and you have such flow for imagery. I see style and grace in the way your words play out in the poem 'Feelings'. You're very gifted. There's complexity that contrasts the simplicity of the subject. But not difficult to read. All Positive. I will look forward to reading more. ?

Profile image

Belinda Sue Kiser

Thu 1st Aug 2019 20:34

Dear Raypool, thank you for your critique. I see exactly what you were saying about the moving of verse to strike emotion. Never looked at it like that. I see in your profile you're a seasoned writer, and musician. I like to think with time we write with a clearer mind, for word and verse. I thoroughly enjoy your writing for this. I especially enjoyed 'Simple Mind'. The first verse tickles me. That one verse could stand on its own. Thank you for sharing. I will seek more of your poetry.

Profile image

Belinda Sue Kiser

Thu 1st Aug 2019 20:23

Dear Brian, Thank you for your reply. I take no offense. Everyone has an opinion. My God, we're poets. We all have opinions. I don't expect anyone to come to my mental rescue and support my tragic life. If the poem stirs any emotion, then I did what I set out to do. The fact you stated you do not like poems with personal struggles, only says something for your character. I realize I am not everyone's cup of tea. With a collection of over 200 poems, I write on many topics. I write from my heart and what is going through my mind. As a poet, we write to stir emotion; we hope the reader will feel from the words we put together. Between the flow of a piece, the rhyme and subject the reader should feel something. Otherwise, the writer has missed his mark. I respect your statement about the quality of the poem. I can't help wonder what quality means to you.
I read everyone's profile and examine their style of poetry. Especially those who have commented on one of mine. When I feel something I say something. When I feel nothing, I move on until reading something that is worth commenting. Yes, I read your profile and poems. No Comment.

Profile image

raypool

Thu 1st Aug 2019 19:34

Hi Belinda i'll give you my honest opinion for what it's worth. I love the title and the way you end the poem - like a sandwich of thoughts. The filling is perhaps too much to engage us completely although we feel sympathy and it feels good to share what you have been through. The third verse for me would be the first verse as it has so much impact, and the rest could naturally follow once the attention is fully engaged. That's what I would do but please do not view this as negative criticism. I never indulge those feelings on the back of others .

Ray

Profile image

Brian Maryon

Thu 1st Aug 2019 17:04

Belinda - many on WOL would normally be quick to post in support of your lifelong struggle. ..not sure why they haven't done so in this case. Seeing a lot of supportive comments can often fool you into thinking that the poem itself has merit, which may or may not be the case. You'll need to decide this for yourself as poetry and prose are very much subjective.

For my part I don't enjoy reading poems about other peoples' struggles unless the piece itself has quality. Hope this helps.

Profile image

Belinda Sue Kiser

Thu 1st Aug 2019 12:00

Hello Brian, Yes all around. I crave good constructive criticism. Here or on my web page. To me, it doesn't matter. I don't have initials at the end of my name and not worldly. I say what is on my mind in simple wording in my poetry; I hope it reflects this. I don't like poems that hard to read, difficult to understand and has no flow. I am not so thin skin I will become a puddle of wet mush. But if someone or anyone likes or dislikes, then tell me why. I expect no one will be cruel just to be a mean.

Profile image

Brian Maryon

Wed 31st Jul 2019 18:20

Belinda - you ask for comments but haven't made clear if they should be posted here on WOL or on your creative writing website.

Also, do you want comment on the sentiment expressed, the quality of the poetry, or something else? And are you prepared for complete honesty from commenters?

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message