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(We have one in Selby although I patronise other cafes in preference)


There’s no more boring chore in life

Than to wait behind your wife

While she’s looking for a handbag or a dress

Our Gert had thought I’d lost her

But I’d slipped away to Costa

For a coffee while she shopped at M & S.


Since they use a stronger bean

Their Flat White always seems

A tasty and invigorating brew

To be sure to get a seat

To enjoy this leisured treat

Claim your table with your coat – then join the queue.


As an ugly lifelong fattie

I’ll select a skinny latte

But others may prefer a richer blend

Their smooth and mellow mocha

Is, for sure, no beta-blocker

(Though Costa Coffee would, no doubt, contend).


Their standard cappachino

Goes down sweeter than a vino

And, of course, you’re more than fit to drive your car

The range of choices mean

One option’s decaffein

Or different, yet again, a cup of char.


You can take your morning brunch in

Or watch the ladies lunching

(I reckon that I’m far too old to flirt!)

Here comes another crop in

Breaking from their shopping

          -  Ooh!  Bloody Hell!  It’s time I found Our Gert.




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John Coopey

Sat 13th Jul 2019 11:06

Thank you, Mindy. Personally, I find Starbuck’s coffee to be like mazzy watter. And as for Our Gert, she knows she was lucky to catch me. I was a bit hasty

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John Coopey

Sat 13th Jul 2019 09:29

Thanks, Philipos and Mindy.
I too use Wetherspoons where a Coffee for 79p with unlimited refills was unbeatable value. (I think it’s gone up a smidgin recently).

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Sat 13th Jul 2019 08:20

I enjoyed the read thanks. Personally I use the local Wetherspoons or Greggs - but that's Woking for you see - handy when you later need a you know what. ?

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