Confessions

Confession I’ve lost so much of myself. I didn’t even know where to pick up the pieces . I began to question who I was , what I loved , what drove me . This shit was crazy it was like I woke up one day and didn’t even remember who I was too much has happened my life was paused but I aged like fine wine . What’s happening to me .This was more depressing then a freaky Friday movie and this didn’t happen from a fortune cookie . Terrified ,the thought of needing a cartoon to distract you afterwards . My life who I was believing I knew ,what I wanted ,and what my life was going to be like changed . I go back to that year the worst year. I was a girlfriend , a mother , a daughter , a aunt , a sister many titles. I lost some titles and gained some titles . Im loosing myself some one HELP me I need saved but everyone sees the smile . Do I call myself the same name I don’t feel like her anymore like a lost best friend who I shared my entire mind with .I began to experience my heart turning cold . I’m not this same person right now or who I was. I don’t know who this girl is . I look in the mirror it’s my physical appearance but not my heart. I wonder what my life could have been had life not always hand me the short straw . At times I ask myself what the fuck are you even doing but the thoughts cross my mind at the worst times . This life shit gets hard and mentally draining . When you loose yourself you want to run for help but what do you say ? Better yet what do you want changed . My pride gets me everytime .I would rather eat my own hand then admit I need help . Confessions are the hardest words to leave your mouth or mind .Admitting is always hard ,I don’t like to hear the words leave my mouth or admit that I have a problem. Confessions that alter your life or may change how ppl view your character. Loosing the old you that was great happy , wild , and free. Shedding your skin to be a better version of yourself seems impossible and so far away . But life is changing with us and waits for no one . I could be the person who knows who I am , what I like, not insecure but I’m not. I want nothing more than to get back to that girl somehow, but you never will you’re a new person and have to learn to embrace that, learn to adapt . Now I said this was a confession no happy ending I don’t think I look like a Disney princess and cuss too much to break out in song . My flaws are who I am and all I have to hold onto .I’ll confess now but days , months , years from now this will not be who I am and I’ll have new confessions .

◄ Playing with Fire 🔥

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