DOING IT TWICE

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(A re-post.  And a huge debt to the comic genius, Steve Womack, for the joke)

 

We made our way to bed one night

I pulled down all the blinds

We kissed by filtered moonlight

Passion in our minds.

 

My wife broke from our close embrace

“I won’t be long.  Don’t go”

And headed for the bathroom door

Then cruelly stubbed her toe.

 

She cried in pain and anguish

Which turned to plaintive sob

Her toe turned black in anger

Continuing to throb.

 

Vicariously her pain was mine

To see how this upset her

I gently took her foot to me,

“Let Daddy kiss it better.”

 

One thing led to another so

I need not state the rest

Suffice to say our lovemaking

Was of the very best.

 

And after we’d recovered

She rose to leave once more

But stubbed her toe a second time

Upon the bathroom door.

 

My darling wife began to sob

“That’s twice I’ve done it now”

I farted and rolled over, mumbling,

“Well you clumsy cow”

◄ THEM AS LIVES LONGEST LEARNS MOST

NO BETTER ENDING ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Sun 7th Jul 2019 15:17

Don and Mindy,
Two birds perching on a Telephone wire. One says to the other “Don’t these long words make your feet tired?”

<Deleted User> (22247)

Sun 7th Jul 2019 14:52

Try me, John.
I always thought it was ineptitudinosity...dumdidilliddleliddle umdiddlei

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Don Matthews

Sun 7th Jul 2019 14:04

ItoocanspelllongwordsJohn. Whatstopsmeisthefullstop.

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John Coopey

Sat 6th Jul 2019 16:46

Don- As you can see I can spell; I just don’t know when to stop.
Jason -Luckily not a When Harry Met Sally moment.

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Jason Bayliss

Sat 6th Jul 2019 16:17

Currently having a coffee in a Tesco cafe, funny how few people appreciate someone laughing out loud in public! 😂😂😂

J. x

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Don Matthews

Sat 6th Jul 2019 15:05

I'm pleased you picked up on that. You're not as inept as I thought. You can even spell long words.....😛

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John Coopey

Sat 6th Jul 2019 15:02

We certainly push the boundaries of ineptitudinessness.

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Don Matthews

Sat 6th Jul 2019 13:02

Hey John WOL needs it's raunchies
Politically incorrect
It's called 'Let's push the boundaries'
No matter how inept

Now give our Mindy half a chance
She might be into raunch
Don't worry, just get on with it
Just go fire up, relaunch

(Min's a sweetie. Don't fret....😛)

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John Coopey

Sat 6th Jul 2019 12:47

And you too, Mindy. Though you might find much of my stuff a bit raunchy and not politically fashionable/correct.

<Deleted User> (22247)

Sat 6th Jul 2019 11:59

Delighted to make your reading acquaintance!

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John Coopey

Sat 6th Jul 2019 09:30

I will try to say hello for you, Don. But she’ll most likely bite my head off.

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Don Matthews

Sat 6th Jul 2019 08:34

You know I am newbie John
As such I not try hurt
So have avoided naming wife
But kj says it's Gert

I have this awful habit John
(Which Graham has warned us of)
Of sticking not to posted poem
But giving it the shove

Say hello to wifey Gert.....😛
Does she wear a miniskirt?

(See what I mean....hopeless)

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John Coopey

Sat 6th Jul 2019 08:33

She is indeed very lucky to have me, Kev.

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kJ Walker

Sat 6th Jul 2019 06:04

I have to feel sorry for your Gert. But then I suppose she was lucky to be doing it once.

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John Coopey

Sat 6th Jul 2019 00:01

Many thanks for your astute observations Brian, Phil and Don.
As the great man cited above said "The only time these days I think about doing it twice is just before I've done it once".

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Don Matthews

Fri 5th Jul 2019 23:48

Shit John you're uncaring
As Maryon has said
A beast you are, an utter beast
An utter beast in bed

To say "Let Daddy kiss it"
What's going on here I think?
He's going down on daughter?
No John, refuse I wink

Then like a shitty bull you are
Fucking made you fart
(Hey? That's alliteration)
John, this ain't fine art......😛

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Philipos

Fri 5th Jul 2019 23:24

Oh you are naughty John. A bit like Gone with the Wind that story. I know a good place to buy second hand army respirators. Just in case you ever needed one of course. No pressure though, well, externally I mean. 😝

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Brian Maryon

Fri 5th Jul 2019 22:37

You uncaring beast!

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Brian Maryon

Fri 5th Jul 2019 22:37

You beast John!

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