Scared Of Spiders



Scared of Spiders


He cracks walnuts with his eyelids

Bends girders with his ears

He’s the man who can fight twenty men

After drinking twenty beers

He eats racehorses whole

Plus their saddles, and their riders

He ain’t afeared of any man

But still he’s scared of spiders



He’s got a tattoo of a dragon

To show how tough he is

He’s got muscles in places I ain’t got places

He’s got muscles in his piss

He’s feared by his inner circle

He brings dread and alarm to outsiders

He ain’t afeared of any man

But still he’s scared of spiders


Ghosts and spectres can’t get to him

He’s no fear of the unknown

Bring on a hoard of zombies

He’ll take ‘em on his own

King Kong and Godzilla

Would fall foul to his martial-arts skills

But show him a little spider

And he’ll go running for the hills




◄ The Lad With A Magpie Perched On His Head

The Ghost Of Our Old Granny ►


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kJ Walker

Tue 18th Jun 2019 19:36

Thanks Vautaw. Personally I have no fear of spiders. But I can understand those who do, there is something creepy about them.

Cheers Kevin

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Sun 16th Jun 2019 04:17

Congratulations on making Poem of the Week! Spiders are curious creatures that make cowards out of most of us!

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kJ Walker

Thu 6th Jun 2019 06:45

Thanks Dorothy. Glad you found it funny
Thanks Keith. I have compiled enough material for two booklets (which I have printed out on my own printer, in a very amateur way). But I wouldn't know how to publish them professionally.
I'm enjoying reading your book by the way.

Cheers Kevin

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keith jeffries

Wed 5th Jun 2019 08:39


Another gem for the book?? Brilliant


<Deleted User> (21487)

Wed 5th Jun 2019 08:22

I love waking up to a giggle - although this one has provoked a belly laugh - it is brilliant.

Thank you



I hope poor Fred doesn't get jealous

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kJ Walker

Wed 5th Jun 2019 07:10

Thanks again Jason and Don.
I think I'd go running for the hills from some of them Australian spiders, but the ones we get are quite harmless.

Cheers Kevin

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Don Matthews

Wed 5th Jun 2019 01:16

He wouldn't want to come to Australia
We specialize in spiders down here
For me? I just laugh at their antics
I'm not scared,(I just drink up my beer) ?

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Jason Bayliss

Tue 4th Jun 2019 22:50

And so would my missus!?


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