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Poetic Dissection

(I wanted to write something descriptively accurate and brief, like an equation, just with all the joy and emotion of human interpretation sucked out of it.

I have to say, as much as it feels like, "Job done." It's so cold and heartless, I truly, truly hate it!)

 

Accurate cognition,

Of apposite rendition,

Gives new interpretation,

To accepted information.

 

Appreciable movement,

May lead to improvement,

And emotional evolution,

May be the solution.

◄ Every Last Chip

Fairytales ►

Comments

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Mae Foreman

Mon 4th Mar 2019 09:13

Intriguing experiment! If a machine write a poem that would be it! Like everyone said I love it and I hate it! I vote for heart!?

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Jason Bayliss

Sun 3rd Mar 2019 00:25

Thanks Don and Kate, and of course thank you, "Heart."
(I still hate it though ?. Feel like writing something really flouncy and romantic now just to get that robotic voice out of my head.?)

<Deleted User> (19913)

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 22:05

Clever. I love an experiment whatever the outcome.

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Don Matthews

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 21:54

Jason did set,
Me, his pet robot
A task to write poem
And this what you got

Alas you poor humans
Understand us machines
You gotta work with us
You gotta sound keen

We do have a brain
Bit clunkety clunk
Don't go with the flow?
You gonna be sunk ?

(Like is for pet robot...)

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Heart of Lead

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 21:47

Ha ha, I liked it before I read the comments. Reminds me of a poem I once tried to write with everything rhyming with the same word. You are right about the equation feel. And as Newberry said, very Sherlock Holmes...

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Jason Bayliss

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 21:41

Thanks all for your comments. I'm genuinely glad no-one's liked it.
You might be right M.C. but I still hate it.
And yes Candice that's what I thought except I was thinking more HAL from 2001 a space Odyssey, you know, sinister and detached.
And also yes Dorothy, always write with the heart as far as I'm concerned ?.

J.

<Deleted User> (21487)

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 19:52

HMMMM ? It's a bit of a struggle I think hearts win every time.

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Candice Reineke

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 18:28

I hate this too. But I love it! It feels like you asked Siri to please write us a poem. ?

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 16:26

Sherlock Holmes - the creation of a medical mind - might not have
agrees with your own comment. ?

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Jason Bayliss

Sat 2nd Mar 2019 15:50

I tell you what, I knew I'd hate this as soon as it came to me. Thank God we don't think like machines.

The perfect example for me of why you should always write with your heart.

J.

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