Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Children of Despair


Children of Despair


Children of despair

Conceived in heat and nakedness

Mosquito mental mad


Children of despair

Thrown out in agony

Bloody blinding black


Child of my heart

Slimy solid passing

Waxen withered wail


Child of my dreams

Ripped from me in breech

Crumpled caved condemned


Children of my love

Conceived in heat and nakedness

Saving saved and save


   Cynthia Buell Thomas

◄ To Fellow Poets

Vanilla Sex ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (7164)

Sun 7th Feb 2010 16:18

Hi Cynthia, i found this to be superb in 'reality' imagery, some sad with a hopeful ending.

Each stanza for me stands alone and could be short poems in themselves. As a whole, i discovered the best way to read it is slowly to pause and sustain the images and profound compassion within it.
Wonderful in my opinion.

Janet.x

Profile image

Andy N

Sun 7th Feb 2010 12:32

good stuff, cynthia.. really enjoyed this.. seemed a bit different to some of your other stuff i have read.. keep it going

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Sun 7th Feb 2010 11:57

Cynthia, I'm having trouble with the alliteration. The only one that works for me is in verse two (bloody blinding black). Unfortunately the others don't add up for me, and why repeat "children of despair" and miss an opportunity for additional imagery?

Profile image

Cate Greenlees

Sat 6th Feb 2010 19:35

I agree. Clever use of alliteration and technique without detracting from the despair of the subject matter. Its so easy to look at our children well fed and with hope, and forget that other children are not so fortunate. A timely reminder of what it would be like to give birth in such a country.
Cate xx

Profile image

Isobel

Sat 6th Feb 2010 16:48

I like this one Cynthia. Some great imagery in here. 'slimy solid passing, waxen withered wail' having some resonance with me. On the whole a sad poem - so many are born unwanted and in and out of despair. Your last stanza is a bit like the bottom of Pandora's box - beautifully conceived and executed.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message