THE CHEESE SUBMARINE

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(A fusion of the brilliant analogy of Brexit by Hugo Rifkind with the rather obvious adaptation of the Beatles's "Yellow Submarine".  Apologies, Mr Rifkind. The brilliance was entirely yours).

 

In the times since I’ve been born There’s been things I’ve never seen

But the best of all of these Mrs May’s Cheese Submarine.

 

Cos the people had a vote The biggest vote there’s ever been

So they had the good idea Of a Cheese Submarine.

 

You must build us a Cheese Submarine, A Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine.

You must build us a Cheese Submarine, A Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine.

 

Mrs May, though, didn’t say “Now look here! Let’s all come clean”

Cos it was a shit idea To build a Cheese Submarine.

 

But instead she carried on As she looked out across the seas

That the moonlight shone upon Then she moulded some mouldy cheese.

 

She tried building a Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine,

She was building a Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine.

 

But the people frowned upon Mrs May’s Cheese Submarine;

They all said to Mrs May “It’s not at all what we mean.

 

This is not the boat we want When we all had our vote;

As a submarine it’s shit; It won’t dive and it won’t float”

 

“What we’re wanting’s a proper submarine, that’s made out of cheese, a Cheese Submarine.

“What we’re wanting’s a proper submarine, that’s made out of cheese, a Cheese Submarine.”

 

Mrs May though bit her tongue As she minded her “Q’s” and “P’s”

But she thought “Of course it’s shit Cos it’s made of fucking cheese!”

 

But the people carried on Blindly shouting words like these

“What we want is plain enough - A submarine made of cheese”

 

You must build us a Cheese Submarine, A Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine.

You must build us a Cheese Submarine, A Cheese Submarine, a Cheese Submarine.

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