I’m not a celebrity

The stars sit under the stars at night

Yes the celebs are there for a verbal fight

To influence which one the viewers want

to stay in the jungle or dump in a pond

with alligators, snakes or slimy grubs.

Then eating worms and beetles or shrubs

But It’s nothing new I do assure,

no folks in hotels but preferring the floor,

to sleep, relax and do things much worse,

it’s cheaper, rustic and lighter on the purse

 

But camping is just not my scene you see

It’s a four star hotel with a mini-bar for me

Up to today not even stayed in a caravan

I was always scared I’d see a bogeyman 

But now I’m stuck in a flaming sleeping bag,

with the guy next to me smoking a dodgy fag

Theres something crawling in my inner ear

I’m not a celebrity but...Get me out of here!!!

 

◄ ‘PARLIAMENT’

Hope Valley ►

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