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'THOU SHAN'T GO SHORT OF SHITE'

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(A visit to JTF's tomorrow beckons)

 

When times are hard at Christmastide and money’s truly tight

We’re here to target poverty and help you in your plight

Providing all those things you crave

Without the need to scrimp and save

Our motto which to all we gave

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

We’ve snowmen that’s inflatable to 40’ in height

So perfect for your backyard when illuminant at night

Tat and tripe stacked on our shelves

Tacky reindeer or pot elves

Which profit no-one but ourselves

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

There’s Kevin Carrot, Santa mugs and outdoor fairy lights

Poinsettias and Powerman – you’ll buy them all despite

The lack of pennies in your bank

And credit rating which has sank

It’s stores like us you need to thank

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

No need for you to question if consumerism’s right

Be happy you’re persuaded to buy everything in sight

The season’s meaning has been lost

Under plastic snow and frost

Forget the love – just count the cost

‘Thou shan’t go short of shite’.

 

So part with hard-earned pennies on the trashy, cheap and trite

December’s not the time of year for you to feel contrite

Repent at leisure all next year

That’s when the gombeen men appear

But don’t mind that; spread cash and cheer

'Thou shan't go short of shite'.

◄ A BLACK LIFE DOESN'T MATTER ANY MORE

AN UNPLEASANT PLAYER ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Tue 27th Nov 2018 12:25

Are you quite sure this is a direct quote from Dickens, Gus? If it is, your familiarity with Dickens is greater than mine. Speaking personally, I’ve never been to one.

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Gus Jonsson

Tue 27th Nov 2018 11:40

...as Scrooge said of Tiny Tim,
'He's a bastard and I just don't like him!'

Cant you put this to music?


Regards
Gus

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John Coopey

Mon 26th Nov 2018 19:01

Thanks, Kevin. January (hopefully) it is.

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kJ Walker

Mon 26th Nov 2018 18:10

John, it's gems like this that we are going to miss at Well Spoken if you "blob" again.

see you in January

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John Coopey

Mon 26th Nov 2018 15:08

Thanks, Taylor. I’m not a religious person (in a worshipping sense) but I do resent the commercialisation of Christmas. And peddling of shite.

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Taylor Crowshaw

Mon 26th Nov 2018 13:44

Fourth stanza sums it up for me John..excellent poem and very pertinent..?

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John Coopey

Mon 26th Nov 2018 08:37

Thanks, MC. I’m a miserable teetotaller. But never more popular than when people want a lift home.

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 26th Nov 2018 02:15

The commercial aspect is almost "too much" and too early! And
it is not much help towards keeping children's expectations under
control. But chin up and keep supporting the needy. Can I send you
my address? ?
I never took you for a stooge
To Christmas cheer, old chum,
But do your kid's deserve a Scrooge
When waiting for Santa to come?


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John Coopey

Sun 25th Nov 2018 23:45

In truth, Brian, my kids love the bits I get them from the Charity shops. And they reciprocate. My daughter once got me a birthday card which read 'You've been like a dad to me'. I haven't stopped laughing.
It seems we share a dislike for Christmas, Poem. But my dislike pales against New Year's Eve which seems to mock me with 'Another year gone and you've done f**k all again'.

<Deleted User> (18980)

Sun 25th Nov 2018 23:24

Well done John...an early bah humbug.

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